


Lowlands

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [27]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, Romance, Smut, This is a love story, and to us all, finally diving into Alec's family, godspeed to me, love love and more love, very angsty Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-07 13:44:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20976878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: A family tragedy prompts Alec to finally take Ellie to Scotland.





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s _too big_.”

Alec sighs heavily. They’re on their fifth house showing this week with their realtor. Ellie has vetoed every option so far. At least this time, she sent the realtor out of the room before she started complaining. 

She’s walking around the spacious living room glancing around critically. He reaches for her hand and pulls her over to him. “_Ellie_.”

“What? We don’t even have enough furniture,” she replies matter-of-factly.

“We will in five months.” He raises an eyebrow at her. She groans. “We don’t want to be _crowded_, El. We want a little extra space for when we need to…fill it.”

“I refuse to let a baby take over the whole bloody house.”

He grabs her waist and pulls her flush against him. “I believe they call that _denial_, my dear.”

She keeps him at bay, placing her hands on his chest. “Five whole bedrooms? Be reasonable.”

“Ellie.” He fixes her with an incredulous stare. “In five months we’ll have_ four _children.”

“…Oh.” She groans dramatically and leans her head on his shoulder. “Right.” He chuckles. “Isn’t that a bit excessive?”

“Without question but it doesn’t change the facts,” he replies. “We might find somethin’ with an attic though, and put Daiz there. She’ll be off to uni soon enough and won’t mind so much.”

She watches his face fall when he registers what he’s just said. “Aw.” She presses her lips to his cheek. “She’ll be ‘round plenty, don’t you fret.”

“Best not think on it now,” he says quickly, slipping away from her and moving toward the window. “Quite a view with this one, don’t you think?”

“Alec, there’s no master bath. We _cannot_ live our lives without a master bath,” she reminds him. “Can you imagine sharing with the kids?”

He nods. “Right. Well, onto the next." 

Alec takes her hand and they start for the exit when his mobile rings. He pulls it from his pocket and checks the called ID, then promptly stops walking, halting Ellie with him.

“What?” She asks, trying to look over his shoulder.

“My sister.”

She looks at his stricken, befuddled facial expression, then nudges him. “Well, answer it for god’s sake.”

He puts the phone to his ear. “Greer. ‘Course I bloody answered, what’re you – all right now?” There’s a long pause. Ellie watches as his expression slowly changes. “Right. So it was quick then.” She places a comforting hand on his arm, observing him carefully. “Fine then. You okay? Yeah, go on then. I’ll ring you back later. Okay.” 

Alec moves the mobile back into his trouser pocket.

Ellie runs a hand up and down his arm. “What, love?”

He shifts his weight around uncomfortably, head bowed, hair covering his face. “My dad’s passed on.”

“Oh,” she exhales. "Oh, love." She touches his face, turning him to look at her, then pulls him into her arms swiftly. “I’m so sorry, Alec.”

Alec’s feelings in the moment are entirely unclear to her, but he lets himself be held for a few moments. Then, muffled by her shoulder, he says, “Should get back to work then.”

She pulls back to look him in the eye. “Absolutely not.”

“Ellie, really, it’s – 

“To the pub,” she says, definitively. “It’s to the pub we go.”

*

Ellie deposits him in a corner booth in the back and then goes to get him a pint. He’s leaning back in a daze when she returns to him, placing a pint in front of him. She sits beside him, on the same side of the booth, something they’ve sworn they’ll never do but this feels like an appropriate exception to their rule.

She rubs his arm and he flinches, then pulls away from her. He’s never done that before.

She places her hands in her lap. He takes a few sips of his pint in silence. Then his hand is on her thigh suddenly, gripping it hard. She takes this as an invitation to rub his back a little, and this time he doesn’t recoil from her.

“Did Greer say what happened?” She asks quietly.

He nods slowly and she begins to fear the worst.

“Heart failure.”

Ellie feels her _own_ heart stop. This is her greatest fear, every day. But she sublimates that for now. She lays her head on his shoulder and keeps rubbing his back.

He doesn’t say any more.

*

At his request, they do not tell the children. At dinner, said children are quite aware that something is amiss, but they are content to assume that a heavy case is weighing on their parents and as such they do not pursue any questioning on the matter. Alec mostly keeps to himself after that, quietly watching telly with Tom and Daisy while Ellie plays upstairs with Fred. She’s quite clear on the fact that Fred’s energy is a bit too much for Alec right now.

Once Ellie gets Fred to bed, she forces Tom and Daisy to turn off the telly and focus on their schoolwork. She sits at the kitchen table with them and helps as much as she can. Alec sits out in the garden on his own and as it starts to get dark she brings him a scotch, then goes back inside.

Later on, she heads upstairs to take a shower. She’s accustomed to leaving the door to the loo open while she does so, because he likes to talk to her idly while she showers. But of course, this time he does not.

When she turns the water off and pulls back the curtain, she can see through the open doorway him sitting on the edge of the bed watching her. He’s sitting there in only his briefs, as if he had started to change into his pyjamas and then forgotten how. Frowning with concern, she grabs a towel and wraps it around her body, then grabs another to dry her hair.

“All right, my love?” She moves into the bedroom toward him, disquieted when he doesn’t respond. “What can I do?”

When she gets close enough, she realizes that he’s hard as he sits there. He must have been watching her in the shower for some time.

“Oh,” she exhales, the realization dawning on her. She ought to have seen this coming.

He grabs her by the hips and pulls her roughly down onto the bed. He stands, yanks his briefs down and off, then pushes open the towel around her. She sighs, though she tries not to be too obvious about it. Of course he would wait until _after _she’s already showered.

He crawls over her, cock throbbing between his legs, a strange mix of desire and anguish in his eyes.

“Alec.” She tries to get his attention but his mouth is already on her breasts. “Is this – can’t we just – “

_Talk_, she’d give anything to _talk_. She has so many questions, there are still so many things she doesn’t know about his family, about his father. She’s ravenous for information.

He doesn’t look at her, words muffled by her skin when he says, “_Please, Ellie_.”

She nods, more to herself than to him, as he’s not looking at her face anyway. To his credit, he at least reaches between her legs to touch her until she’s wet enough for him before he guides himself inside her without another word. He fucks her messily, rough but not painful, at least not for her. It’s achingly clear to her that _he’s_ in pain. She lets him have control of her body and reciprocates in whatever way she feels she can, or in whatever way he will let her. He molds her and shapes her, arranging her to meet his needs. It’s not _un_enjoyable for her, but she can’t stop thinking about his father. She doesn’t even know what the man looked like.

As rough as it is, he is obviously modulating himself quite well, and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want it to end, doesn’t want to have to think about what he’s not so deftly avoiding. She wishes he’d just come already. She offers him a totally fabricated and drawn out moan, in the hopes it will bring him to the edge as it so often does. But at this he actually looks at her, accusingly.

“Don’t,” he says tersely.

She curses herself for not being a very good actor. He continues thrusting inside her, sitting up and bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder. She gasps a little – she had no idea she could still do that at almost four months pregnant. More than anything else, the stretch feels _amazing_.

Even though he surely _could_ now, he still does not look at her. He’s staring hungrily down at her body, her breasts, her stomach. And she can tell he’s forcing himself to. Within another minute or so, his whole body shudders and he pushes her leg out of the way and collapses on top of her. She just lies there as he pants against her.

He lifts himself up and pulls out of her, then comes to rest at her side. She stares at the ceiling, thinking about how she’ll now have to take another shower. 

Then she feels his body begin to quake. She feels hot tears on her arm before he actually hears him cry, but by the time she looks over, his face is wrenched and he’s sputtering tears, curling into her like a child.

She’s anguished by the sight of him, but truth be told she’s massively relieved and a little delighted. This is what he _really _needs. This is the release she wants for him.

“Shh, shh.” She pulls him roughly into her arms and holds him to her chest, kissing his hair. “Shhh, it’s all right, my love. You’re all right.”

He clings to her, covering her chest with tears.

“In the morning we’re calling your sister,” Ellie says firmly, kissing his forehead, his eyelids. “Tell her we’re coming. Tell her we’ll see her in Glasgow.”

**


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Ellie sits on the floor of their bedroom surrounded by boxes of clothing. When Alec enters, carrying two dusty suitcases dug out of storage, he stops in the doorway.

“Sifting through old maternity clothes,” she confesses with a groan. “Hardly anything else fits now.”

Alec can’t help but smile. He knows she’s been dreading this, but he’s been quite looking forward to it actually. For her, the pregnancy feels real all the time because it’s a part of her body. _He _likes when he can see it. Any physical evidence at all gives him a thrill.

He kisses the top of her head, then steps into the room with the suitcases, lifting them up onto the bed.

“Going to be all these odd flowy things now.” She holds up a long, loose cotton shirt with a v-neck. “These and leggings. All the bloody time. Trouble is these stupid tops are good for the bump but not so good for the tits. It’s like the powers that be think that pregnant women want to be constantly showing off their massive racks to make up for the fact that the rest of their bodies are going to shit.”

“Least Dr. Sinclair will be pleased to see you’ve finally been gainin’ some weight after fourteen weeks,” Alec replies, unwisely.

She points a finger at him. “You don’t get to say things like that, not even under special circumstances. Understand?”

“Quite right, I’ll keep my mouth shut on the matter,” he agrees, going over to his closet.

“Just focus on my tits and --- ah, bollocks, the powers that be are _right_, aren’t they,” she grumbles, tossing clothes out of the box unhappily. “I hate that your family is meeting me for the first time looking like…this.”

She’s being vain. She knows it. The average fiancee might refrain from discussing such trivial things to the love of her life who has just lost his father. But Ellie in fact knows better. She knows he would _much_ rather listen to her fret about these things than have to think about anything else right now.

“Alec.” She’s looking at him, waiting for him to do his duty and tell her she’s being daft. “This is the part where you’re supposed to say, _oh, El, they’ll not even notice, they’ll have bigger things on their minds, lass_,” she says, putting on his accent. Badly.

He snorts. “My father was perhaps that most hated man in Glasgow, I think they’ll be right glad to focus on _you_ instead.”

She frowns.

“What?” He laughs.

“That’s a lot of bloody pressure.”

He places his hands on his hips and stares at her furtively. “There’s no winning for me in this conversation, is there?”

“Not really, no.” She goes back to her boxes, and he goes back to the closet. “Are we doing the right thing not taking the kids?”

He brings a few dress shirts over to the bed and folds them carefully. “Honestly, I dunno,” he answers. “Be a bit overwhelmin’ for them, I reckon.”

“Right.” She nods. “But they should feel a part of your family, don’t you think?”

“Ellie, _I _barely feel a part of my family.”

She moves to standing, a bit painstakingly, using the edge of the bed to steady her on the way up. “I just don’t want them to feel left out of all this.”

“Daisy’s not been to Scotland since she was a wee bairn and – “ She smiles at that and he catches her. “She doesn’t know anyone, really. Not even my sister. And Tom and Fred --- well, do you really want to be chasing Fred around all weekend?”

“No,” Ellie admits.

“Right, and we can’t take the older two if we _ever_ want to hear the end of it from Fred.” Alec turns and squeezes her arm. “We’ll go again once the baby’s born. Do a proper tour of it all. Lowlands _and _highlands.”

“You promise.”

He leans forward and kisses her softly. “I promise.” Then he nods his head toward the flowy tops she’s thrown onto the bed. “Try one of those on, let me see.” 

She groans dramatically in response.

“Come on then.”

She makes a scrunchy face at him, then pulls her t-shirt (_his_ t-shirt actually) up over her head. He laughs at what’s underneath.

She glares at him. “_What_.”

“You need new bras, you know that right?”

“Oh shut up!” She tries to adjust her bra but she’s spilling out of it no matter what she does. “There’s nothing worse than undergarment shopping. _Nothing_.”

“Look, you know _I _have no complaints,” he says with a leer. “But it can’t be comfortable for you.”

She makes another mocking face at him and then goes to put on the flowy top. The v-neck hugs her breasts tightly but comfortably, the rest of the material flowing just slightly outward. Standing, you can hardly tell she’s pregnant at all.

“Quite like that actually,” Alec remarks.

Ellie steps over to the mirror and turns a few times. She smoothes down the fabric until it hugs her. Only then can you tell. “Yeah, not bad.” She goes to sit on the edge of the bed, then looks up at him. “…Can tell _now_, can’t you?”

“…Yeah,” he replies tentatively.

She sighs and flops back on the bed, on top of the dress shirts he’s just folded. “Ach,” is his only audible complaint.

“El.” He pushes the suitcases over a bit so he can sit beside her. “Not as if you’re actually trying to _hide _it, yeah?”

“Well, no,” she concedes a bit grumpily. “I just…don’t want it to be the first thing people see when they look at me. Don’t want to be defined by it for the next five months.”

He lies down on his side, propping his head up on his elbow, a hand smoothing over her stomach. “See it from _my _perspective. You’re a bloody bad-arse pregnant detective. It’s extremely sexy as a matter of fact.”

She turns her head to him. “Yeah?”

“_Oh_ yeah.” He kisses her jaw. “So go on and own it, why don’t you? Only makes you _more_ of a fuckin’ rock star.”

She grins and stifles a laugh. “Stupid.”

He kisses her lips once, then pats her stomach as he sits up. “Come on then. Much packing to do.”

He stands and she holds out her arms to him. He laughs and takes her hands, pulling her up. “Don’t start that already, you’re still perfectly capable.”

“I know, but my _back_ feels numb, I swear to god.” She stands and goes to her own suitcase. “It’s like my lower back isn’t even _there_.”

He begins re-folding his dress shirts and she starts folding her own clothes, placing them in her suitcase.

“This’ll be our first time away together, you realize,” she informs him. “Not much of a dirty weekend, is it.”

“Well.” He tilts his head to the side thoughtfully, suddenly feeling a bit guilty about never having taken her away before. “…The kids.”

“Not complaining,” she tells him. “Just that, um. I hope it’s not _untoward_ of me to say I’m a little bit looking forward to being with you someplace else. A new little backdrop for our relationship.”

He smirks, but he’s clearly pleased. “That’s a bit soppy for you, Ellie Miller.”

She’s smiling, gaze far off. “Holding hands somewhere no one knows us. Seeing you in your natural habitat, as it were.” She shakes out of it and looks back down at her clothes. “Sorry. Know this isn’t a romantic holiday or anything. Quite the opposite. Just happy to be going with you." 

He puts down the shirt he’s folding and goes to her, slipping his arms around her waist from behind and planting a kiss on her neck. “And ‘m very lucky to have you with me.” He kisses her shoulder. “Thank you for makin’ me go. And for _not _makin’ me go alone.”

She grins, leaning back into him. “This is what happens when you ask a person to marry you. They never bloody leave you alone again!” 

He takes her left hand and kisses her ring finger. “That’s the idea.” 

Then he lets her go with a light swat to her arse and heads for the door. “Tea?” 

“Ta!”

As soon as he’s gone, she goes over to his suitcase and re-folds his shirts. Correctly.

*

“I WANNA GOOOOO.”

Fred is about twenty seconds away from a meltdown at the dinner table. Ellie tries to pull him into her lap but he pushes her away.

“I wanna go with you!”

“Lad, we’re not goin’ on holiday, we’re goin’ to a funeral,” Alec says.

“No one there is going to be having any fun at all, love,” Ellie adds. “There won’t be any other kids and nowhere to play. You’ll be bored senseless.” 

“But _you’re_ going and I want to go,” Fred doubles down.

“Shouldn’t we all be going?” Tom questions pointedly.

“_I _really should,” Daisy agrees.

“We’re not going to have time to do anything fun,” Ellie insists. “There’s no use in you going. You’ll be trapped inside all day, no video games, probably no wifi.” That bit is likely a lie, but it’s a lie she clings to desperately.

“…No wifi?” This gives Tom pause.

“Don’t think so, no,” Alec backs up.

“He’s _my_ granddad,” Daisy says, clearly insulted by the whole thing.

“You’ve not seen him since you were a baby, Daiz.” 

“That shouldn’t matter. These people are my family.” She picks up her plate and brings it over to the sink. “Goin’ to bed.’

“ME TOO.” Fred hops off his chair and storms off after Daisy.

Tom shrugs and continues eating.

*

After dinner, Tom clears out. Ellie and Alec are left with the washing up. She works on the dishes while he squares away the leftover.

“El.”

“Yeah.”

“I think we ought to take Daisy.”

Ellie switches off the faucet and turns to face him, hands dripping with water. “We discussed this already.”

“She does have a point.”

“Alec.” She grabs a towel and wipes her hands. “I don’t think we can just take Daiz. It doesn’t send the right message to the boys. We’re all a family now, _one _family, and as much as we can, I think we need to treat them as a unit.”

Alec looks down. “Yeah.”

“It’s bloody difficult, what we’re doing,” she continues. “Trying to blend families. And it’s only going to get harder once the baby comes. We have to be mindful of that when we make decisions.” 

“Everyone’s goin’ to ask after her,” he counters. “Wonder where she is. And she has a right to be a part of this, I think.” 

She places a hand on her hip. “You said yourself, _you_ barely feel apart of your own family. Daisy’ll not be such a loss for them, and she’ll be over the whole thing by next week.”

“Can’t stand her bein’ cross with me. Especially now.”

“I know.” She goes to him rubs his hands over his chest. “But we have to start making decisions as co-parents. The kids can’t be one and two and one, they can’t have different rules.” 

He steps away from her and roughly goes back to putting leftovers in containers. “’Course they can, they’re different ages, for christ’s sake. What’s true for Fred isn’t necessarily goin’ to be true for Daisy. She’s my daughter, and I say – “

In that moment, he turns and smacks right into her icy glare. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen such a cold look in her eyes. He sighs. “Ellie.”

“Are we or are we not co-parenting? Is that not what we decided?” She questions, folding her arms across her chest.

“Yes. But – “

“No buts. You don’t get to pull the ‘she’s my daughter’ card anymore, Alec Hardy,” she says firmly. “She’s _our_ daughter. Yours, mine, and Tess’. And we are not going to have the _capacity_ to take care of her this weekend. She’ll be overwhelmed, surrounded by relative strangers – pun intended – needing our attention. And frankly, you’ll be going through your own thing – and don’t argue with me, we both know you will – and I’ll be well-occupied looking after _you, _all the while trying to hold my own with your entire family who, if you may remember, I will be meeting for the very first time. She’ll be more or less on her own.” 

He just stands there, looking at her, searching for a worthy response.

“Let me talk to her,” she offers, softening a bit. “I’ll explain the situation, she can blame _me _if you’re so worried. All right?

Alec throws his hands up helplessly. “Fine. Fine then, go.” 

She throws down the towel and marches out of the room

*

Ellie knocks lightly on Daisy’s closed bedroom door.

“Darling, it’s me.” She waits a beat. “Can I come in?”

“Fine.”

Ellie opens the door and steps inside. Daisy is lying on top of her bed with a book in hand. She closes the door behind her.

“Hi, lovely. Bit cross with us, eh?”

Daisy keeps her book open. “Whole thing just seems unfair.”

Ellie takes a few steps toward the bed then sits down on the edge. She glances at the book. “_Jane Eyre_? For school?”

“No.”

Ellie shakes her head. “Oi, broody, just like your father.” She pats Daisy’s leg. “Scooch over.”

Daisy reluctantly inches closer to the wall. Ellie lies down next to her. “It’s not that we don’t want you there, you know. It’s just that it’s all a bit complicated for your dad. You know he had a difficult relationship with _his _dad, and he’s not seen his family for so long, we just don’t know what it’s going to be like. We don’t want you to end up in a position where you’re uncomfortable, and then you’re captive for three days.”

Daisy shrugs. “Mum’s family is mad too. I can handle it.”

“But this is a funeral, love. This is a family in mourning. It’s quite different,” Ellie says gently.

Daisy looks at her, earnest and plaintive. “I really want to go, El.”

Ellie observes her steadfast expression carefully. “You may be quite on your own. If you go. Your dad and I may be awfully overwhelmed. You’ll have to be quite grown up about it all.”

“I _am _grown up.”

“Well.” Ellie gives her a small smile. “Just about.”

Daisy grabs her hand. “Please, Ellie. I just want to see what it’s like there. What they’re all like. Even if I don’t get along with them, I’d like to see.”

“…All right then.”

“Thank you!” Daisy hugs her fiercely. “You’ll be glad, I promise. I won’t be a bother.”

“You’re never a _bother_, lovely,” Ellie says. “It’s never that. We’re all just trying to take good care of each other and I want to make sure we take care of _ourselves_ at the same time. And that’s hardest to do around family.”

Daisy nods, though she doesn’t quite understand as much as she’d like to. Ellie sits up.

“Pack a bag then, love. We leave bright and early.”

*

Ellie finds Alec alone on the couch, flipping through channels on the telly with great disinterest. She walks over slowly and sits beside him, tucking her feet up under her legs.

“Daiz’ll be joining us.”

His neutral expression gradually lifts into a smirk. “She got to you.”

Ellie holds her head up high. “She made a very good argument in her own favor,” she says. “She promises she can take care of herself, and I think if she’s old enough to make promises like that then she’s old enough that we should hold her to her word.”

“I think that’s fair enough.” He finds her hand and strokes the back of it with his thumb. “At the very least I’ll get a weekend away with my girls.”

She snakes an arm around his shoulders and pulls him down to her chest. He is content to rest his head there, and continues stroking her hand with his thumb.

“I’ve got you, you know,” Ellie says firmly. “You’ll be glad you went. Even if it’s hard.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, so she just scratches his back and kisses his hair.

Then he grunts. “You’ll be sorry you can’t drink.”

**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Are people into this? You've all been suspiciously quiet. Let me know if you're out there.

It’s roughly an eight-hour drive from Dorset to Glasgow. It turns into a nine-hour drive because Ellie has to stop and use the loo just about constantly. Daisy keeps her headphones on the entire time, while Alec and Ellie entertain themselves with various podcasts. Ellie drives most of the way, until they cross into Scotland, then Alec insists on taking over for the duration.

Though Alec would give anything to stay in a hotel, the plan is to stay in his childhood home, along with a few cousins. His sister Greer lives about ten minutes away and has taken on arranging everyone’s accommodations.

The house is almost comically large, considering it served only to put a roof over the heads of four people. Alec pulls into the drive with some trepidation and then just sits with his hands on the steering wheel until Elle’s hand on his leg brings him back.

“Should go in, love,” she says. “Greer was expecting us an hour ago.”

Daisy grabs her own bag and Alec handles both his and Ellie’s. These days he refuses to let her lift anything heavier than a sandwich and she’s given up on being annoyed about it.

Ellie can tell he feels strange ringing the bell, but that he’d feel even stranger _not_ ringing it. They stand on the front porch outside the doorway waiting and Ellie gives him a reassuring smile, which he tries but fails to return. Daisy seems largely unperturbed, looking around with wide, curious eyes.

The front door opens to reveal a tall woman in her mid-fifties, nearly ten years Alec’s senior. She’s dressed warmly, not at all indicative of a woman in mourning, and greets them with open arms.

“The prodigal son returns!” She exclaims, then yanks Alec into her embrace. He’s stiff at first, then finally seems to relax. “Only took death to get you back on our doorstep. Thank heaven it wasn’t _yours_.”

She pushes him aside when she spots Daisy. “This isn’t _Daisy_.”

The girl smiles. “Hi.”

“Oh, you beautiful girl.” Greer pulls Daisy into her arms much the same way. Daisy seems delighted. “You were barely walkin’ the last time I laid on ya.” Greer plays with her hair a little, then glances at Alec. “Smidge of Bridget in her, wouldn’t you say?”

Alec shrugs, then Greer turns to Ellie with a discerning eye, looking her up and down.

“This is Ellie,” Alec says, mercifully regaining his voice.

“The _fiancee_,” Greer notes with a smile. “Somehow our Alec managed to bag another one. Will wonders never cease.” She pulls Ellie into a hug, which is fully reciprocated. “Well, I very much like the look of you. The last one was a bit stone-faced.”

Greer glances over at Daisy as if they’re sharing a private joke, and Daisy laughs, which Ellie thinks is quite lucky. For all Greer knows, Daisy could _adore_ her mother. 

“Easy now,” Alec chides.

“Come in, come in.” 

She ushers them all inside like a masterful hostess with great largesse. They follow her inside, all of them gazing around like they’ve entered the foyer of a castle, which it most decidedly is not. Alec closes the front door behind them and sets their bags down.

“This is gorgeous,” Ellie says.

“Been spruced up a bit over the years,” Greer replies. “Bet you hardly recognize it, eh, Alec?”

He nods, looking around.

“Daisy, lass, you’ll be sharin’ the attic with my granddaughter,” she says a bit apologetically. “We didn’t know you were comin’ until this mornin’. She’s eleven, but very mature and well-behaved, I imagine you’ll find a way to get on.”

Daisy smiles politely. “Oh I’m not picky, that’ll be just fine. Thank you.”

Ellie smiles at her, so far impressed with her comportment.

“You two.” She turns to Alec and Ellie. “Are up in Dad’s old room.”

Alec immediately begins shaking his head. “Ah, no, I think – no, we’ll go find a hotel if – “

“_Relax_. So jumpy.” Greer laughs. “You’ll not recognize it a bit. Whole house has been renovated and redecorated since you were here last. We’ve been rentin’ out rooms, one of those AirBnB things.”

Alec and Ellie both frown. “The whole thing?” He asks.

“Well, Dad’s been livin’ with Angus and me since he first got sick,” Greer explains, and her expression makes it clear that he should know this. “The last five years or so. But he wouldn’t consent to sell the bloody thing, so this is what we settled on.”

Alec seems quite shell-shocked. Ellie reaches over to squeeze his arm.

“Anyway, _your_ old bedroom’s only got a twin bed in it so we saw fit to put you in the master. Newly engaged and all, thought you might like a bit of privacy.”

Alec is still frowning. Ellie pipes up. “We appreciate that, thank you.” She looks up at Alec. “Don’t we, love?”

He clears his throat. “Thanks. Yeah.”

“Good. Daisy, I’ll take you on up to the attic and introduce you to Melody, probably glued to her mobile or some such,” Greer says. “We’ll have a full house for supper tonight so we’ll do an old-fashioned cocktail hour in a bit.” She reaches for Ellie conspiratorally. “You and I are goin’ to get properly _pissed_ and swap stories, we will.”

Ellie shoots a sharp look over at Alec. Yet another thing she should not be surprised about but nonetheless _is_. Alec grimaces. She looks back at Greer.

“I’d love absolutely nothing more, but I’m afraid I’ll have to skip out on the ‘pissed’ bit,” Ellie says.

“Ach, no.” Greer looks at Alec. “Don’t tell me you’ve landed a sober one.”

“Good god, no.” Ellie laughs. “Not sober. Just pregnant.”

The older woman’s jaw hits the floor. Ellie goes bright red. Alec shifts his weight around uncomfortably, avoiding his sister’s gaze.

“I don’t believe it.” Greer shakes her head. “You’ve got yourself a whole new life, and at your age.” She turns back to Ellie. “You must be a bloody saint.”

Ellie chuckles a bit nervously. “Well, it certainly wasn’t any kind of _saintly_ act that got us in this position.”

There’s the slightest pause, then Greer _guffaws_. “Oh, Ellie.” She hugs her again. “We’re goin’ to get on, you and me.”

Then she reaches for Ellie’s abdomen and feels around over her shirt. Ellie looks furtively over her at Alec, who looks back at her apologetically. “What are you, thirteen weeks?”

“Fourteen just,” Ellie replies.

“Hmm. Small.”

Alec rolls his eyes at his sister. “Oh like you’re the bloody expert now.”

“As a matter of fact,” Greer replies slyly. “I’m a certified midwife now.” 

“Oh god,” Alec mutters under his breath. Ellie’s eyes widen.

“Bit of a late in life career change,” his sister continues. “Have to keep myself on my toes.”

He looks at Ellie apologetically _again_, already envisioning how this is all going to play out and it doesn’t look like much fun for Ellie.

“All right, well, don’t you go drivin’ Ellie mad this weekend, understand?” Alec tells her. He’s coming back into his own now, it’s clear. “She doesn’t need you nosin’ around in her business and feelin’ her up all the time.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Greer replies coolly. But she winks at Ellie. Who does not know what that means and is a bit alarmed by it. “All right. Daisy, love, you come with me. Alec, you know where you’re goin’. Cocktails downstairs in an hour!” 

* 

Alec leads Ellie into his parents’ old bedroom and places their suitcases down. Ellie closes the door behind her and they both look around.

“Familiar at all?” She asks.

He slowly shakes his head, taking it all in. “Not really. Though I didn’t spend much time in here when I was young.” 

He sits down on the edge of the queen-size bed as Ellie walks around, taking it all in.

“Sorry about the, uh. You know.”

She whirls around to face him. “The not telling your sister we’re having a baby thing?”

He clears his throat. “Yeah.”

“’s all right,” she replies. “Really I should be impressed you even told her we were engaged.”

She goes over to where he’s sitting and steps between his legs, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Greer’s lovely, Alec.”

He leans forward and rests his forehead on her chest, arms circling her waist. She runs a hand through his hair soothingly. “She seems very happy to have you back.”

He grunts.

“Come on. Aren’t you just the littlest bit glad to see her?”

He nods, just enough that she can feel it. She smiles.

“How’s it feel to be back in the house?”

He grunts again, burying his face in her breasts and holding her tightly. She laughs. “_Alec_.”

“Don’t wanna talk about it yet.”

“All right.” She kisses the top of his head and wraps her arms around him in reciprocation. “You want to unpack a bit?”

He shakes his head.

“Just want to stay like this awhile?"

He nods. She traces a finger underneath his shirt collar and feels him shiver.

“Could take a quick nap,” she suggests. These days she never says no to one.

At this, he looks up from between her breasts. “_Or_…” He lies back on the bed suddenly, pulling her on top of him. She shrieks with laughter and they roll onto their sides, where he immediately starts pressing his lips to the exposed tops of her breasts.

“Oh, no. No, no,” she says. “You’re _avoiding_.”

“Not avoiding,” he murmurs, reaching back and managing to unhook her bra clasp _through_ the fabric of her top, causing her to make an appreciative and very impressed little noise. “Just a little tension release after nine hours in a bloody _car_.”

“A _little_ tension release?” She questions dubiously. He pushes down the v-neck of her shirt, pushing away the cup of her bra with it, and takes her breast into his mouth. She gasps.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Just a bit of a _snog_,” she says warningly, laying out her terms.

“Mm-hmm.” He sucks on her nipple.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she gasps.

He releases her breast and says, “A clothes-off snog. For at least one of us anyway.” He lifts her shirt up over her head and tosses it away, then pulls her bra off.

She wants to be mad, but she’s truly impressed at his efficiency and dexterity. “You made awfully quick work of _that_.”

He pulls her body against him, naked from the waist up, and kisses her.

“Mmm.” She opens her eyes once he finally releases her lips and pleads with him. “Please don’t try to shag me in your parents’ bedroom within ten short minutes of our arrival.”

He traces a hand up and down her spine and presses his lips to her collarbone. “Just this.” His other hand begins to roam her body. “Just want to touch you for awhile.” He lifts his head to see her eyes. “All right?”

She smiles softly. “All right.”

Truthfully it gives her warm chills (damn the oxymoron) that he finds so much comfort and relief in her body. In a situation where she feels largely helpless, it makes her feel useful somehow.

He lays her flat and moves over her, on his knees straddling her as he busies his lips between her neck and shoulder, one hand kneading her breast. He’s touching her like he’s working toward something, trying to unlock something hidden, release something from inside her. His lips move to her chest, slowly on a mission to cover every inch of it. He stops halfway across, pressing his forehead down against her skin and just breathing in time with the rise and fall of her chest, his lungs matching the rhythm of hers. Then he moves down through the valley between her breasts, stopping to suck on the side of one of them until she hisses and he knows he’s left a mark. He continues down and traces the outline of each one of her ribs with his tongue.

Clearly he hasn’t stopped to think that, in his deeply personal need to use her body for his own security and solace, there might be consequences to turning _her_ on in the process. Ellie feels like she’s melting into the bed, like her bones are beginning to liquefy.

He drags his teeth down to her stomach, then kisses around the uneven circumference of her baby bump, pushing down the waistband of her leggings just a little in order to do so.

“Alec,” she exhales.

“Mm.” He sinks his teeth in just below her belly button.

“Alec, you have to stop,” she pants.

He lifts his head up just enough to look up at her. She’s flushed and beginning to sweat. She’s clearly distressed by it, but it makes him smile.

“I can…” He starts to tug down her leggings.

She bolts up, propped up her by elbows. “No!”

He nods, understanding, and slides back up her body, covering her, and kisses her lips. “Sorry.”

“You should be.” She’s pouting now. “This is very rude of you.”

“I know,” he replies, a bit patronizingly, mimicking her pout and then kissing her. "’m sorry, babe.”

“Why do you only do things like that to me when you’re trying to sublimate some deep-seated emotions,” she complains.

“I do not.” He kisses her again. “You’re just usually a little more impatient than that when we’re actually shaggin'."

She chooses not to dignify that remark with a response and pushes his hair away from his eyes. “Do you feel better now?”

He nods. “Your body is much better than a valium.”

She chuckles, then kisses him, then pushes him off her. He groans.

“Come on then, we need to hop in the shower,” she says with some urgency.

He raises both eyebrows at her. “_We_?”

“Yes, we, I need to rinse you off me, and _you_ – “ She shakes her head derisively. “You’re hard as a bloody rock and we need to deal with that. Plus I want you nice and relaxed during dinner.”

Thankfully, the master bedroom of the house comes with a master bathroom attached. She drags him into the shower, rinses herself off, then does him the great favor of jerking him off. Once he finishes, she steps out and starts getting herself ready, leaving him to clean himself off.

She blow dries her hair while wearing a towel, then changes into a very forgiving wrap dress. She takes out a pair of jeans and casual jumper for him and lays them on out the bed when he emerges.

“You’re an extremely good fiancee,” he says, kissing her shoulder before continuing on to change.

“Yes, I know.” She goes to the mirror to apply her makeup. “We should check on Daiz.”

He pulls on his jeans. “I’ll go. You finish gettin’ ready.” The jumper follows. “We’ll come fetch you before headin’ downstairs, all right?”

“All right.”

“Hey.” He approaches her at the mirror from behind and kisses her cheek. “I love you.” Then he kisses it again.

She smiles and turns her head to him. “I love _you_.” She grabs him by the chin and plants a quick kiss on his lips, then turns back to the mirror.

“See you in a few.”

He exits the room.

*

He finds his way up to the attic, trying to remember the last time he’s ascended these stairs. He can’t.

“Daisy?” He knocks on the slightly ajar door and pushes it open.

There are three twin size beds and it appears only two are in use. Daisy sits on hers, scrolling on her phone. The room is otherwise empty.

“Gettin’ settled okay?”

“Yeah, all right.” Daisy shrugs.

Alec sits down on the bed beside her. “How’s this Melody?”

“Talks a lot. Thankfully she’s gone down to help with dinner. Finally.”

“Ah.” Alec nods. “Well, not a five-star hotel, is it.”

“How come you lost touch with everyone here?” Daisy asks, avoiding her father’s gaze. “They don’t seem like bad people so far.”

He hesitates. “Combination of things, I guess. Wasn’t a…_happy_ childhood, and after my mum died there seemed less and less of a reason to visit. Greer and I sort of fell on different sides of things. And work kept me away.”

“And me and Mum.”

“Well.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I won’t pretend your mum got on_ too_ well with the family, but they weren’t at each other’s throats either. All tolerated each other well enough. So don’t go thinkin’ that’s why.”

Daisy nods slowly. “So there’s no reason I shouldn’t like any of them. Off the bat anyway.”

“No.” Alec is firm on this point. “No reason at all. You like or dislike as you see fit, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Might let you have a glass of wine at cocktail hour if you behave,” Alec says.

Daisy brightens. “Oh I’ll behave.” 

*

Alec and Daisy descend from the attic to find the door the master bedroom wide open and a cacaphony of male voices wafting out from inside.

“Never been particularly smooth with the ladies, Alec.”

“We could nick one out from under ‘im whenever he wasn’t lookin’.”

“And we did! For sport, mostly.”

“Frankly never felt too bad about it though, ‘cause he never seemed that – what would you say, Robby?”

“Interested in ‘em. Always had his head somewhere else.” 

“Made ‘em easy to steal.”

Alec and Daisy step into the doorway to find his twin cousins Robby and Billy have more or less cornered Ellie in her own room. Alec clears his throat. They whirl around, exclaiming various greetings and hugs, slapping him on the back. Once released from them, Alec looks to Ellie. 

“See you’ve met the twins,” he says, going to her.

“Oh yes. Charmers, these two.”

Robby and Billy notice Daisy. “This wee Daisy is it?”

Daisy smiles and nods.

“Looks like you’ve grown into a right young lass.”

“Daiz, these are my cousins, Robby and Billy,” Alec says. “You two started cocktail hour without us?” 

“Just a pint on the way over,” Billy replies.

“Ah, better head on down,” Robby says, throwing an arm around Ellie’s shoulders. “We’re gonna get you good and blotto, El.”

Ellie looks back helplessly at Alec as Robby and Billy lead her out of the room. 

**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and for letting me know you're out there! Makes the writing go faster. :) I appreciate you all.

They hear the raucous group of people in the living room long before they enter it.

“Maybe this one’ll have a sense of humour.”

“Can already tell you she does, made a dirty joke within seconds of meetin’ me.”

“Seem to recall Alec never much liked dirty jokes.” 

“Liked ‘em well enough in private!”

“Oi, you, enough of that.”

“Any road, he likes her enough to marry her, so you all just behave yourselves or we’ll not see him again for another two score!”

“You blamin’ _us_ for that?”

Alec, Ellie, and Daisy enter the room, having heard most of this chaotic conversation as they descended the main stairwell. There’s an immediate explosion of noise and bodies, briefly abandoning their drinks and jumping up to greet them. Ellie and Daisy are nearly knocked over by the force of them, hands patting backs and lips kissing cheeks. Finally Greer shoos them all away.

“Steady on, everyone, as you were!” She exclaims. “Let 'em get introduced to ya _properly_.” She nudges Alec. “I’ll do it, lest you’ve forgotten names to faces after all these years.” 

Greer points to each one as she introduces them. “Here’s my husband, Angus. He’s a good mediator, this one, so look to him whenever the fights break out. Our daughter Megan, too clever for her own good, and _her _daughter Melody, whom Daisy’s met already. Not sure about her yet.” Everyone laughs and Melody rolls her eyes, giving her a distinctly teenage impression despite being only eleven. “Emma here is Billy’s wife, you’ve met Billy and Robby already. She’ll come after you a few drinks in.” Emma makes an exaggerated noise of complaint. “Robby’s son Harry – Daisy, you be glad he’s your cousin or you’d have to fend him off with a stick. And last here’s our youngest Archie, he’s sober.”

Archie shakes his head. “Thanks, Mum.” 

Emma whacks her husband suddenly. “Off your arse, Billy, and fix ‘em all a drink!”

Billy obediently hops up and makes for the bar in the corner of the room. “Glenlivet, Alec? Spot of red for you, Daiz, bet you’re still gettin’ the hang of it, miss.” He starts pouring drinks. “What’s your poison, Ellie?”

“Oh!” Greer gasps, astonished at herself for forgetting to tell her family by far the most exciting part of Alec’s return home.

“None for me, ta,” Ellie says, before Greer can say more.

“Oi, don’t say you’re sober, you’ll be stuck with boring ole Archie all evenin’,” Robby remarks. “Doesn’t go well ‘round these parts at all.”

“She’s not sober!” Greer says with glee. Alec shoots her an icy glare and she purses her lips suddenly. 

“God’s sake, what then?” Emma asks, greatly annoyed already.

Billy hands a scotch to Alec and a glass of red wine to Daisy, who goes to sit on the arm of the sofa next to Melody, after she beckons her.

“Oi, no, look at ‘er!” Megan exclaims, pointing at Ellie.

Ellie’s hand goes self-consciously to her stomach and she turns bright red. The room fills with various gasps as several members of the family start hitting each other to signify their shock.

“All right _yes_, ya bunch o’ wallopers, Ellie’s bloody _pregnant_, have at it,” Alec announces, throwing back some of his scotch.

The noises grow louder and they all get up _again_ to hug Ellie. Except for Emma, who stays where she is and nurses her drink. Ellie contends with the flood of strangers affectionately attacking her, feeling her stomach, sizing up her breasts, pinching her hips. Clearly Alec’s proclivity for touch runs in the family.

Finally Alec starts picking them off of her, pulling her out of their grasp and into his arms. Knowing how flushed she must be, she becomes uncharacteristically bashful and hides her face in Alec’s shoulder.

A flurry of “Awww”s and other noises flood the room. Alec kisses the top of her head and runs his hand along her hip and thigh unconsciously. 

“Well this is a brand-spankin’ new Alec!” Angus remarks with great amusement.

Ellie lifts her head and snakes her arm around his shoulders so he won't pull away.

“Oh, I can’t stand it, I can’t _stand_ it, it’s too cute,” Megan exclaims, finding her seat again. They all follow suit.

“Never seen ‘im quite like this before, El, this is a sight,” Billy adds.

Robby can’t stop laughing. “He’s got her bloody knocked up!”

Emma takes a sip of her wine and says snidely, “Explains why he’s gone and put on a ring on it.”

“Oi.” Billy nudges her warningly. “Be nice.”

Sitting up straight and drinking from a glass bottle of diet coke, Archie proves to be their savior. “How far along are you, Ellie?”

“Fourteen weeks,” Ellie replies. “Three and a half months.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “We can do _maths_.”

“You wear it well, Ellie,” Megan tells her kindly.

“God, I’m sorry,” teenaged Harry says suddenly, popping up from the armchair he’s been occupying. “Sit. Please.”

“Oh, that’s all – “

“_Please_.” 

Ellie nods and goes to the chair. “Thanks very much.” Alec follows her and sits on the arm of it.

“Can I get you a club soda or something?” Billy asks her.

“No, I’m fine, thank you.”

Angus gets up to get himself another drink and pours one for Greer as well.

“How long you two been shacked up anyway?” Robby questions.

“Ach, now, when do _we_ get to start askin’ questions?” Alec complains.

Greer waves him off. “When you’re not the one who’s been _vanished_ for fifteen bloody years!”

Alec groans. “Not _vanished_.”

“What, two or three visits in all that time, and never for more than two days,” Greer continues. “If it weren’t for the Google alert I had Megs put on ya, I’d have given you up for dead years ago.”

There’s a brief silence. _Very_ brief, but for _this_ crowd, it’s notable.

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s a much better communicator these days,” Ellie offers. “I’ve seen to it.” 

“This your first child, Ellie?” Megan asks, leaning forward. 

“Oh, god, no,” Ellie answers with a laugh. “Got two boys at home. Fourteen and five.”

“Divorced or widowed?” Emma asks coolly. 

“Uh.” Ellie bites the inside of her cheek. “Little of both, feels like.”

"So, divorced then," says Robby, who _is_ widowed himself.

“So how’d you two get together then?” Megan again.

Alec and Ellie look at each other, silently deciding both how to tell it and who will tell it.

“We work together,” Alec says tersely.

“Christ, not again.” Angus shakes his head, but it seems mostly good-natured.

“Ellie’s a detective,” Alec continues.

“Oof, we’d better be on our best behavior now, two coppers in our midst,” Billy jests, jabbing Robby with his elbow.

It’s rare that Alec and Ellie have the opportunity (or misfortune) to tell the story of their relationship’s genesis. They live in a town where everyone already knows. Where everyone watched it happen. They are in fact very bad at this.

“Things get a bit dirty at work?” Robby surmises with a grin.

Ellie ignores that and says, “Alec’s my boss. Or so he keeps trying to tell me.”

Angus, who is closest to Alec, whacks his arm. “You dog.”

“Did you meet him before or after he became The Worst Cop in Britain?” Greer inquires with a wily smirk.

“Uh.” Ellie chuckles. “During?”

Megan leans in further. “You met in Broadchurch?”

Ellie nods slowly. “Yes.”

All at once, each of them seems to lean back, eyes wide, a realization dawning on them. 

“You met on the Broadchurch case,” Angus states.

“You’re the, um, the…” Archie stammers.

Ellie straightens her spine. “The murderer’s wife, yes.”

A hushed silence washes over the room. Ellie can’t tell how much of it is judgment, pity, horror, or sympathy. Alec takes her hand and kisses it.

“Och aye, Alec, a murderer’s sloppy seconds for ya, is it,” Emma sneers.

Billy jumps up at that, grasping Emma’s arm and dragging her up with him. “All right, you’re comin’ with me now.”

He drags a protesting Emma out of the room, glancing quickly at Ellie on the way out. “She’s pissed, Ellie, I’m sorry.”

Fortunately Ellie is no wilting flower and Emma’s remark slides right off her back.

“Emma and Alec used to date,” Greer says gently to Ellie.

Ellie snorts. “Oh is that all?” 

The tensions in the room seems to dissipate a bit at Ellie’s nonplussed reaction.

“You’re not bothered?” Megan asks.

“God, not in the slightest,” she replies easily. Then she looks up at Alec. “Though you might have told me.”

Alec shrugs. “Didn’t know she’d _be_ here.”

“To be fair, for all Alec knew, she and Billy might have split by now,” Angus concedes, taking a drink.

“I admire a woman who doesn’t get jealous,” Megan remarks, genuinely.

“Frankly don’t see what there is to be jealous of,” Ellie replies. “I know Alec’s not got any interest in her, so as_ I_ see things it doesn’t affect me in the least.”

Alec pulls her hand into his lap. Greer is grinning. “Quite right,” she says, then gets up. “Best go check on dinner. Shouldn’t be long now.”

Greer exits into the kitchen.

Melody looks at Daisy. “Isn’t this fun?”

Daisy sips her wine.

“I like this,” Megan says, waving her index finger back and forth between Alec and Ellie. “You two. This is nice.”

“Yeah, nice to see ya happy, Alec,” Archie agrees.

Ellie wonders if the revelation of her being a murderer’s wife is what has suddenly changed the tone of the room, or if it’s the removal of Emma. 

“Sorry.” Ellie stands, leaning on Alec on the way up. “I can’t seem to sit for very long at the moment.”

“Then the drive up must’ve been murder for you,” Angus says. Then goes red. “Sorry.”

Alec raises an eyebrow. “You _can _say ‘murder.’ We’re bloody detectives you know.”

“Right.”

Alec stays where he is on the arm on the chair, and Ellie stands beside him, leaning against him, his arm coming to circle her waist. He tilts his head up and kisses the side of her mouth, patting her arse affectionately.

Megan is watching them with a smile. "When's the wedding then?"

“DINNER’S READY!”

Saved by Greer’s bellowing voice.

Everyone starts to file out. Alec holds onto Ellie’s hand and they hang back a bit. 

“Sorry,” he says. 

“What for?” She furrows her brows. “So far, your family is almost unbearably _normal_.”

“…Really?”

“Yes!” She laughs incredulously.

“Still. Thank you.” He holds her to him and slides a hand into her wrap dress. Grinning, she turns her head, checking to see if they’re alone, and he kisses her ear. His hand skims over the smooth skin of her stomach and he whispers, “I adore you.”

She blushes against his cheek and he can feel the heat of it.

Greer comes bursting into the room. “Come on, you two lovebirds, we can’t wait all ruddy night!”

*


	5. Chapter 5

Dinner is pure chaos. Ellie cannot even begin to keep up with the conversation and halfway through she stops trying. She and Alec are seated apart, nearly on opposite sides of the table, but do their level best to communicate silently through their expression. At one point, he makes a face that causes her to laugh so hard all conversation at the table stops. He just smirks and pops a cherry tomato into his mouth, leaving her to explain it away. She’ll make him pay for that later.

After dinner, most of the men immediately scurry out of the kitchen like they’re trying to avoid conscription. And in a way, Ellie supposes they are. Alec and Archie remain at the table with the women. Greer and Megan stand to begin clearing dishware. Alec and Archie rise to help. Ellie is surreptitiously still eating, which only Alec notices.

“Oh, get off with you two,” Greer says to Alec and Archie. “Just go out with the boys, you’ll only be underfoot.”

“Actually,” Ellie volunteers, trying to be helpful. “Alec knows his way around the kitchen better than anyone I know.”

Emma snorts. Greer raises an eyebrow. “Really. That’s new.”

Ellie finishes the last of what’s on her plate. “I’m lucky he even lets me near him when he cooks.”

Alec comes up behind her and kisses her cheek as he removes her plate, then collects the one next to her. She smiles.

“Will wonders never cease,” Greer says with a sly smile, moving into the kitchen with a stack of plates. Alec and Megan follow her.

Ellie pushes her chair back.

“No, you sit, Ellie,” Archie tells her, gathering a few serving plates. “You’re our guest.”

“I’m happy to help, really.”

Then comes Alec’s voice from the next room: “Don’t let her in the kitchen!”

Archie shrugs exaggeratedly at Ellie. “I have my orders.”

Melody turns to Daisy. “Wanna go watch a film?”

Daisy looks to Ellie, who nods. “Please, feel free.”

“Come on.” Melody takes Daisy’s hand and drags her out of the room.

Ellie and Emma remain at the table.

“Are you as domestically useless as I am?” Ellie asks, an attempt to be friendly.

“I laid the table,” Emma replies. “I’ve done my part.”

After a few moments of awkward silence, Greer and Megan re-enter the dining room.

“The boys have taken charge of the tidyin’ up,” Megan says.

“Grab the wine,” Greer says to Emma, who is closest to it. “We’re goin’ to the porch.”

“Time to get to know the newest member of our family,” Megan agrees cheekily, ushering Ellie up.

“I’m afraid the baby’s not got much to say yet,” Ellie quips.

Emma is the only one who doesn’t laugh.

On the porch, Ellie feels only the ghost of a wine glass in her hands and looks longingly at the rest of the women, sipping away with ease and grace. Typically, not drinking does not bother her. But oh, what a weekend to be sober. 

“All right, Ellie, give us the dirt,” Greer says, sitting on the porch swing with her daughter. “What’ve you done to our grumpy Alec?”

Ellie laughs.

“He’s so…_gentle_ now, dunno if I can conjure another word for it,” Megan says. “The way he looks at you, it’s so bloody _pure_.”

“He touches you!” Greer exclaims. “In front of us! Never touched the old one, not with any of us in the room.”

“Ohhh.” Ellie looks down and shakes her head. “He’s just. You know. He’s…”

“_In love_,” Megan finishes.

“Well.” Ellie nods once. “Yes.”

Emma is drowning herself in her quickly draining glass of wine.

“You’ve changed ‘im,” Greer states, with some reverence.

“Oh, no,” Ellie replies firmly. “This side of him’s always been there, I think, you just may not have seen it before. I haven’t changed him, maybe just…unlocked something in him.”

“Either way, well done you,” Megan says, raising her glass.

“I’m very lucky.” Ellie needs it to be said. Needs them to understand how extraordinary he really is. “This will sound dramatic, but he saved me. More than once. He’s the person I trust most in the world. And has been even since before we…”

Megan is leaning in. “Were you – durin’ the Broadchurch case?”

“No, no. I was…well, I was happily married,” Ellie answers sadly. “Right up until the end there.”

“Must’ve been awful,” Emma purrs, suddenly interested.

“Yes.”

Greer throws a glare Emma’s way before turning back to Ellie. “When _did_ you get together then?”

“Oh, not until about seven months or so ago. Took our sweet time, we did,” Ellie says with a smile. “Had to swallow our pride first. And we both have…a _lot _of…”

“Oh we know!” Megan says, laughing. “Alec Hardy is a man of ego and pride and he stands good and tall with it.”

“Three years of pride-swallowing,” Ellie continues. “Quite exhausting to tell you the truth. We’re both much more relaxed now.”

“Yes, we can see that,” Greer says. “Our Alec no longer has a big ole stick up his arse.”

“Who made the first move?” Megan asks, like an adolescent girl at a sleepover.

Ellie chuckles. “Uhh…hard to say. He insists it was me. But he egged me on, so I’d just as soon say it was him. Though you know, once it _started_ it was a bit like tumbling down a hill, things happened so quickly, we couldn’t stop ourselves. We had our first kiss and our first shag in the same evening, after a week or two the _I love yous_ came out, he and Daisy moved in about a month and a half later and then suddenly I was pregnant. There was just no stopping any of it really. We wasted so much time and now time is refusing to waste _us_.”

“All that pent up tension in the workplace.” Megan is biting her lip.

“And now you’ve released it,” Greer adds. “There’s no puttin’ it back in, is there?”

“Ohhh no,” Ellie agrees. “There certainly is not. I’m afraid we cannot get enough of each other.” She looks down, because she knows she’s blushing. 

“Awfully romantic,” Megan says. “I miss that bit.”

Greer sighs. “Me too.”

“Having a baby in the house will put out the fire _real_ fast,” Emma says, both eyebrows raised.

Ellie shrugs, nonplussed. “For a while maybe. But not for long.”

“Tess said it happened to her.”

Greer rolls her eyes. “How on earth would you remember her saying somethin’ like that?”

“Some things stick with you,” Emma says, looking away haughtily.

“He and Tess didn’t have what he and I have,” Ellie says steadfastly.

“I think that’s quite clear,” Greer notes. “Don’t you worry, Ellie.”

There is absolutely nothing about Ellie in this moment that would suggest she is worried. She smiles easily. “I’m not.”

“Good lass.” Greer leans forward and pats her knee. “Tess was always a bit cagey about him. She’d circle him like a cat. I don’t think she ever quite believed in him.”

Ellie nods thoughtfully, considering this. “Alec Hardy is the most faithful man on the bloody earth. All the things you want – honest, loyal, responsible, steadfast. He’s the one thing in my life I never have to question.” She’s realizing it as she says it, and it blows her away a bit.

Greer smiles. “He was always a bit that way. He became an adult so quickly. Bein’ ten years older than him, I think he was always just tryin’ to catch up with _me_, be my contemporary. I have very little memory of him ever actin’ like a _kid_.”

“Well now he acts like one with _mine_,” Ellie says with a laugh. “You should see the way he is with my five-year-old. Lightsaber battles for _days_.”

“Hope he can keep up the energy for this one.” Greer gestures at Ellie’s stomach. “Hard to believe he’s startin’ again while I’ve got a bloody eleven-year-old _grandchild_.”

“We can hardly believe it ourselves,” Ellie replies. “Some days it doesn’t seem real. Other days my body won’t let me think about anything else.”

“Must be quite taxin’ on the body at your age,” Emma snarls.

“Well.” Ellie purses her lips. “If I’ve learned anything these last years, it’s that my body has the capacity to handle far, far more than I’d ever thought.” She flashes a smile at Emma. “I could break you in half.”

Megan bursts out laughing, then covers her mouth. Greer’s expression has fallen to something a bit more serious.

“Ellie,” she says, somberly. “How’s his, um – “ She gently taps her chest.

Ellie gives her a reassuring smile. “Really good actually. We saw the doctor a month or so ago to check up on the pacemaker, all is as it should be,” she explains. “But I make sure to listen to his heartbeat at least once a day to be _absolutely_ sure.”

Greer relaxes a bit. “Seems he’s in good hands.”

“Bit much,” Emma retorts.

“Is it?” Ellie replies. “If the person you loved most in the world had a heart arythmia, wouldn’t you? I don’t _sleep_ until I’ve heard it.”

Emma looks up to see Alec standing in the doorway, behind Ellie, holding one of her cardigans. Ellie turns around and her face brightens.

“Couldn’t stay away could you?”

He smiles back at her. “Never can seem to.”

“Ellie’s just been singin’ your many praises, Alec,” Greer announces proudly.

“She exaggerates.” He reaches for her hand, then looks at the other three women. “All right with you if I steal away with my fiancee for a bit? Little stroll round the neighborhood?”

“I suppose she deserves a break from the third degree we’ve been givin’ her,” Megan replies. “Very patient, this one.”

Ellie stands. Greer laughs suddenly. “Look at her, she’s bloody _beamin’_ at him.”

Ellie looks caught. Alec hands her the cardigan and helps her put it on.

Megan gasps with delight. “He brought her a CARDIE!”

“What a treat,” Greer finishes, shaking her head with amazement.

Alec tugs on Ellie’s hand. “We’ll be back in a bit.”

Once they’ve descended the porch steps, Megan calls out, “Don’t do anythin’ naughty out there in the dark!”

Ellie waits until the porch has disappeared from their view thanks to some rather aggressive shrubbery before stepping in front of Alec to stop him.

“Hi,” he says, amused.

“Kiss me.”

He smirks. “How ‘bout _you_ kiss _me_?!”

Ellie shakes her head. “Kiss me good and senseless, Alec Hardy. Curl my toes.”

It is not in his best interest to argue with her any further. He grabs her hips and pulls her against him. He licks his lips, staring at hers. Then he smashes them together, slipping his tongue in almost immediately. Her arms snake up around his neck and she hums as he pushes in further. She’s on her tiptoes and the force of his embrace knocks them both back a bit and they have to steady themselves without letting go of each other, a delicate balance. She pulls back and sucks on his tongue, his hands slide down to grab her arse and they both moan at that. Then she fixes his bottom lip between her teeth. After she lets him go, his lips go back on the attack until she’s breathless. Then he pulls his head back and smiles.

“Any senses left?”

She exhales. “None.”

“Keep walkin’?”

Ellie takes his hand and starts them walking again. “Tell me about CruelEmma DeVille in there.”

Alec chuckles. “Not very much to say. We dated in high school. I broke things off when it came time to go to university, then she married my cousin. I’ve known her much longer as a cousin-in-law than I knew her as a girlfriend.”

“Young love?”

“I s’pose it must’ve been, but I don’t much remember her that way,” he replies. “She’s just been Billy’s wife for the last twenty-odd years. A slightly vexing presence at family get-togethers.”

“She’s really after me,” Ellie tells him, though she doesn’t seem bothered. “It’s harmless, but I can only be polite for so long.”

“Oh yes, I know,” he replies. “Billy’s likely to either rein her in or send her home. She was bad with Tess, but not this bad. You’d think she’d have a little respect for the fact that we’re all here for a bloody _funeral_.”

She looks over at him sheepishly. “To be fair, _I _nearly forgot. Barely anyone’s mentioned your father all night.”

He nods. “That’s the way it’ll be until Sunday. No one wants to talk about the fact that the old goat won’t actually be missed any.”

“Is that true?” Ellie wonders. “For all of them, I mean?”

“I think more or less. He wasn’t very pleasant company on his best days and I imagine he didn’t have very many of those these last years,” Alec explains. “Greer always had a good handle on him, she was tough and gave as good as she got. Still it must’ve been hell him livin’ with her and Angus.”

She nods and there’s quiet for a moment. “Does walking round the old neighborhood bring forth any memories for you?”

He raises an eyebrow at her. “You’re not very subtle, Ellie.”

“I’m sorry!” She cries. “I want _stories_. I want to imagine little Alec riding around on his bicycle threatening to arrest people.” He does chuckle at that and she tugs on his arm. “Did you pretend to be the neighborhood copper? Did you write out little tickets and give them to people who offended you?”

“Dunno, did _you_?” 

“No, but I wasn’t as serious as you,” she replies. “Greer says you were a very serious child.” 

“There always seemed to be somethin’ serious _happening_,” Alec says.

She looks up at him with her signature pouty face. “But did you ever have any fun?” 

“I…had fun.” He nods uncertainly, running images through his mind. “I had mates. We ran around, played football. I played rugby in school.”

She gasps. “You didn’t! Why didn’t I know this? Skinny little Alec Hardy?”

He scoffs. “Easy now.”

She runs her hands up and down his arm. “Beautiful, muscular, skinny little Alec Hardy?”

Alec shrugs. “Was rubbish at it to be honest.”

“Oh but you tried!” She cries with delight. “I love the image of you _trying_.”

“You’re a mad one, you are.” He shakes his head, chuckling at her.

“Oh, do you think our girl will be sporty?” She asks, a flash of wonder in her eyes. “I’d sort of love if she isn’t. Would be lovely to stop spending my Saturday mornings at matches.” 

He smiles. “I think any child of ours is likely to go for a kick, miss the ball, and fall on her arse.”

“Oh, I hope so,” Ellie says. 

“This way.” He leads her across the street and they head back in the opposite direction. “Bet you Daiz is bored out of her mind.”

“No question about that,” Ellie agrees easily. “I tried to warn her. Also, we need to phone the boys when we get back. Maybe Facetime for Fred’s sake.”

“But then Tom will know we have wifi.”

She bites the inside of her cheek. “Good point. We’ll just phone.”

“Hopefully things will’ve calmed down when we get back,” Alec says. “Only half of these people are actually stayin’ overnight.”

“Does that half include Emma?”

“Yeah, I think she and Billy are in Greer’s old room. Archie’s in mine. Megan’s in what used to be Dad’s office.”

“_Her_, I like,” Ellie says.

“Megan? Yeah. Sometimes I think she feels about as much my sister as Greer is,” he tells her. “I was twelve when Megan was born. Greer was ten when I was born. The age difference is nearly the same. Bit odd.”

“Now I’m imagining Little Alec holding a _baby_,” Ellie coos.

Alec rolls his eyes. “_Mad _you are, woman, mad.”

“Oh!” Ellie jumps up and down. “There must be _photos_ somewhere, Greer must have _albums _and _albums _of – “

“_Ellie_.”

“Little Alec in his little school uniform. Oh, and _Baby _Alec. With his little booties and his – “

“Oh, god’s sake,” Alec sighs.

“What, I’ve a right to know what I’m getting into with _this_ baby,” Ellie says, pointing down at her stomach. “I want hard evidence that this baby’s going to be adorable as _fuck_.”

He stops her walking and turns his body into hers, pushing her backwards a step or two. She looks up at him with a grin and he looks down at her with his serious face. “This baby.” He kisses her. “Is goin’ to be.” He kisses her. “The most adorable bastard child.” He kisses her, hand sliding down to her abdomen. “Broadchurch has ever seen.” He kisses her again. “And as soon as she has ears, I’ll be tellin’ her as much.”

He traces a few fingers along the underside of the swell there and it gives her chills. She locks into his gaze. “You have never been sexier to me.”

His serious face turns into a slight smile. “What I always hoped to hear at my father’s funeral.”

She kisses him. “Come on, let’s get back and call the boys.”

*

Sometimes around 1:30 in the morning, Alec trudges into the kitchen in his pyjamas. He rubs his eyes, surprised to find the light on. Greer sits at the table with a glass of water. He stops in the doorway.

“You’re still here?”

She rubs her temple. “Both too pissed to drive home. Angus is on the couch, I’m up in the attic with the girls.”

Alec goes to get the kettle and fills it with water. “Can’t be comfortable.”

“Better uncomfortable than dead in a car wreck,” she replies. “What’s got you up?”

He puts the kettle on the stove. “Ellie. If she doesn’t sleep, I don’t sleep.” He starts rummaging through the cabinets. “A little chamomile usually does the trick.”

“The room’s all right?”

He nods. “Yeah, fine. She fell asleep around eight after we phoned the boys, so of course she woke up again at one. I should’ve woken her myself earlier but I just couldn’t do it.” He finds a mug and drops a teabag in it.

“She’s a good lass, your Ellie.”

Alec leans back against the counter. “A good lass and more.”

They avoid each other’s gaze for a moment. Then Greer looks up. “Were you ever gonna tell us? If Dad hadn’t gone,” she wonders. “About Ellie. The baby.”

“’Course,” Alec replies, but he’s not so sure and neither is Greer. “Would’ve gotten to it. Things happened…you know. Fast.”

“Come on, Alec. You would have sent us a text three days after the birth and you know it,” Greer says.

He sighs heavily. “Dunno, Greer.”

“I’m grateful you even texted me about the pacemaker,” she tells him. “But I want to hear about the good things too, you know. I want to hear it when you’ve fallen in love. Suddenly gained two sons. Gotten somebody pregnant.”

He doesn’t look at her. “’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Just phone me once in a while.”

The kettle whistles and he grabs it, pouring hot water into the mug.

“Well.” He turns back to her, mug in hand. “Best get this up to Ellie. See you in the mornin’?”

Greer nods. “See you in the mornin’.”

When Alec quietly steps back into the bedroom, he finds that Ellie has already fallen back asleep. He smiles, takes a few sips of her tea, then puts it on the nightstand. He switches off the light and crawls into bed. She lies on her side with her back to him and he settles in behind her, his body curled up to mold to her form, an arm around her waist. She places her hand over his and snuggles back into him. He falls asleep with his face buried in her neck.

*


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a big realization, which you may be shocked to learn was a realization I'm just having, that I'm writing a love story. And I just need to own that. So, #thisisalovestory, now with full acceptance of the fact. (Thanks, Fleabag.)
> 
> This is a pretty packed chapter. Hope you enjoy. Thanks, as always, for sticking with me.

_Jesus fuck, Scotland is cold_.

This is Ellie’s first thought upon waking. She realizes quickly that she is in bed alone, which accounts for a good deal of her general coldness. She sits up halfway and glances around the room, looking for traces of her very warm fiance. There’s a note on her nightstand – _Gone for breakfast. Xx_

Well, fair enough. She cannot argue with breakfast. Before she can get out of bed (not that she’s particularly eager to), there’s a knock on the door and the dulcet tones of Daisy’s small voice. “It’s me.”

“Come on in, love!”

Daisy sneaks into the room, quickly closing the door behind her. She’s dressed for the day, clinging to the giant sweater around her shoulders. Ellie holds open the covers. “Get in!”

Daisy crawls into bed beside Ellie and curls up to her for warmth. “Where’s Dad gone?”

Ellie grabs the note and shows it to her.

“Fuck, it’s cold.” Daisy goes red just as she says it. “Sorry.”

“Fucking right it is,” Ellie replies enthusiastically. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine, actually. Once Melody stopped talking.”

“I bet she’s just excited to have a cool teenage cousin to look up to.” Ellie pulls the covers up. “Better get used to it, your baby sister’s going to worship the ground you walk on.”

Daisy raises her head, eyes wide. “Sister?!”

_Oh, fuck_.

Ellie grins, sheepishly, totally busted. “We thought we’d wait a bit to tell you all.”

“It’s a girl!?” Daisy gasps with delight.

Ellie nods. 

“Oh thank god!” Daisy snuggles into Ellie. “Can’t handle more boys in the house. I’m so happy.”

Ellie kisses her hair. “I’m glad, love.”

“Can you name her Violet or Rose or Lily or somethin’,” she suggests with a laugh.

“Dandelion?”

Daisy snorts. “Chrysanthemum.”

“Baby Lilac.”

“Rhododendron?”

They both laugh out loud. 

“WAKE UP, HARDYS!” To their surprise, it’s Alec’s voice they hear bellowing up the stairs. “BREAKFAST!”

Daisy sits up, blinking in surprise. “Dad’s a bit punchy already, eh?" 

Ellie cringes. “Wonder how long he’s been up. Too much caffeine and he’s unbearable.”

Ellie and Daisy both reluctantly slither out of bed and back into the cold air. “You go down and assess the damage,” Ellie instructs her. “I’ll just get dressed and be down in a minute.”

*

Ellie descends the stairs quickly, barefoot, having changed into a loose jumper over a tank top and leggings. She’s pinned her hair back messily, but a few strands still fall over her face. Mascara and lipstick are the only cosmetic elements she’s allowed herself time for.

In the dining room, there are boxes of pastries and a large canteen of coffee set up. Various Hardys are milling about like they’re in a hotel restaurant having a continental breakfast. Ellie nearly squeals with delight when she sees the array of baked goods laid out before her. She places her hand on her heart and exclaims, “My hero!” in Alec’s general direction.

She goes to him, inspecting the pastries on the way, and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. “Morning. Ooh, is that chocolate I taste?”

“_Pain au chocolat_,” he replies proudly.

“Mmm.” She kisses him again. “Bless your slightly irregular heart.”

He scoffs. “_You’re_ slightly irregular.” 

“Thank you very much.”

She slips away from him and over to the table, gathering several different pastries into a napkin. 

“There’s decaf coffee in the kitchen!” Greer calls out to her. “Just for you, lovely.”

Ellie takes her pastries and goes to Greer, kissing her on the cheek on her way into the kitchen. When she returns with a mug of coffee, Alec is chatting with Archie. She makes her way back to him, taking a giant bite of a scone as she reaches him. He naturally slips an arm around her waist and sips his coffee, though his attention remains on whatever Archie is saying to him. Finally he looks at her, just as she swallows her giant bite.

“How are you this beautiful so early in the mornin’?”

“I’m a mess!” Ellie exclaims, shocked and looking at Archie for confirmation. “Tell me, Archie, have you ever seen a more disheveled, exhausted sight in your life?”

“Leave him out of it,” Alec says, planting a kiss on her jaw. 

“You do have a bit of a glow about you, Ellie,” Archie pipes up. “But that’s what they say about pregnant women, isn’t it?”

“It’s patently untrue,” Alec insists. “Except in Ellie’s case. She wears it better than anyone else.”

She smirks, raising an eyebrow at him. “How much caffeine have you had this morning?”

“Bit too much,” he admits.

She takes a bite of her almond croissant and moans with pleasure. “_God_, bloody incredible.”

Alec and Archie both chuckle at her. She breaks off a piece and holds it up to Alec’s mouth. “Try this.” He opens his mouth and she pops it in.

He nods, then swallows. “Not as good as you made it _look_, but I deem it acceptable.” 

Ellie looks at Archie, shaking her head. “He’s impossible.”

Archie is smiling with a somewhat skeptical amusement. “You two have been together _how_ long?”

Ellie sighs dramatically. “Our whole bloody lives, feels like.”

Archie nods appreciatively and pats Alec’s arm. “Goin’ to get more coffee.”

“We scared him off, didn’t we?” Ellie looks up at him innocently.

He grabs her croissant and takes a bite. She rolls her eyes.

“Sleep all right?”

“Woke up _cold_,” she complains. “And _alone_.”

“Wasn’t it worth it for the pastries?”

“I suppose.” She snatches the croissant back and takes a bite. “Let it slip to Daisy about Baby Girl.”

“Oops,” Alec says with a laugh. “She thrilled?”

“_Ecstatic_.”

“Good.” He glances at Daisy across the room, deep in conversation with Megan.

“Oh, and I’ll need to find some Advil or something before we go anywhere,” Ellie says. “My back is _raging_ at me.”

He frowns with concern. “That bad?” He slips a hand under her jumper and presses his fingers into her lower back. “Here?” 

She nods. He kneads the flesh there, applying pressure. “Mm-hmm.”

“It’s that bloody round ligament thing, yeah?” He surmises, remembering their last talk with Dr. Sinclair.

“Yeah. Normal, just painful,” she replies, leaning her head on his shoulder as he continues to press his fingers into her back.

“Is this helping?” He asks.

She nods into his shoulder.

“’m sorry,” he says quietly. Ellie can _feel_ the sympathy rising out of him in waves and knows how helpless he feels.

“Stop that,” she replies gently, tilting her head up and kissing his throat. “You’re lovely. Oh – _oh _– right there!”

He pushes into her skin and then pinches it with all five fingers. She breathes in sharply, then exhales. “Oh thank you.”

“What on earth are you two doin’?!”

Greer and Angus are watching them from several feet away.

“Your brother has hands like a god!” Ellie calls out, causing everyone else in the room to give her their attention. “His fingers are bloody _masterful_.”

Alec goes bright red, then Ellie bursts out laughing. “Oh for heaven’s sake, he’s just giving his poor pregnant fiancee a little back rub, what do you _think_!”

Though she did mean every word, in _every_ context.

Daisy covers her face with her hands, shaking her head. Alec leans down and whispers in Ellie’s ear, “I’ll get you back for that later.”

Now that everyone’s attention is directed in one place, Greer takes the opportunity to assign marching orders. They’re doing things a bit in reverse – holding the reception tonight at the house, with the funeral and burial tomorrow at the church and then the cemetary. To prepare, Alec and Ellie are assigned to visit the priest at the church to confirm details about the funeral. Everyone scatters to set about their tasks, and Alec and Ellie hang back to talk to Greer. 

“…You’re sure you want _us_ goin’ to the church?”

Greer frowns, dreading any last minute changes to her meticulous schedule. “Why not?”

Ellie leans forward, whispering for no reason. “We’re not exactly _religious_.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Greer replies loudly. “Just go talk to the bloody priest, it’ll take you twenty minutes.”

*

Alec and Ellie arrive at the St. Andrew’s Cathedral in the city centre and immediately feel an icy chill upon stepping inside. Ellie loops her arm through his, staying close for warmth as much as comfort.

“Even the air knows we don’t belong,” she quips. But she looks around in wonder. “Beautiful though. This is where you went as a child?”

“Not often enough, I reckon,” he replies. “But still too much.” He glances around. “Sorry.”

She smirks. “Who are you apologizing to? God?”

“Or somethin’.”

“I bet it’s beautiful at night,” Ellie says as they walk around reverently, arm in arm.

“Who ever sees it at night?”

“Dunno. I’d like to, I think.” She shrugs. “Sneak in, smuggle a bottle of gin. Jesus would’ve been a gin drinker, don’t you think?”

“Wine,” he says. 

“What?” 

“Water into _wine_.” 

“Hmm.” She tilts her head to the side thoughtfully. “Jesus wasn’t also a distillery?”

“Jesus was not also a building in which liquor is made, no.”

She elbows him. They walk silently for a moment, then:

“Oh bollocks we didn’t do the thing!” She looks back.

“The what?" 

“The holy water.”

He looks back too, grimacing. “Too late now, I think.”

“Is it?”

“Dunno.” They stand frozen with indecision for a moment. “Let’s just go find the…rectory or whatever it is and get this over with.”

*

Their task complete, Alec and Ellie head across town to meet Greer for lunch. It’s a café Alec feels like he should remember, as it’s clearly old enough, but he has no memory of it. 

Greer sips from her glass of white wine and watches as Alec pulls out a chair for Ellie and then pushes it in for her once she’s seated. He sits beside her, across from Greer, and they both set their drink menus aside, opting instead to study to the lunch menu. Alec sticks with water and Ellie orders a lemonade, _for a change_, she says.

“Feel very lucky to have you both to myself for an hour,” Greer says, smiling warmly. “Feels a bit like I’ve got an audience with the Queen.” 

“I’m the one who’s tickled,” Ellie says, draping her arm over the back of Alec’s chair. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to get to know Alec’s big sister? Still feels a bit like you’re a fictional character.”

Ellie looks at Alec, scratches the back of his head, and smiles.

“Now when are you two plannin’ to tie the knot?” Greer asks. “Is it too presumptuous to hope I’ll be invited?”

“Of course not!” Ellie exclaims. “You have to be there, I won’t stand for anything else.”

Alec nods. “Won’t be for a while yet, though. We’re lookin’ at after the baby’s born.”

“Sensible,” Greer agrees.

“I’d like to _not_ wear a maternity dress to my own wedding. Plus at this point I think it’d be nice to have her _in _the photos,” Ellie says.

“Her? You’re havin’ a girl?”

Ellie beams. In his own way, Alec does too.

“Oh, congratulations, how lovely. She’ll be gorgeous.”

Alec reaches for Ellie’s hand underneath the table, but Greer still notices it.

“Did you two, um – well, I assume given the newness of your relationship you didn’t _plan_ it,” Greer says, leaning back.

“Oh god no.” Ellie turns to look at Alec, again running her fingers absently through his hair. “Big surprise, this. At first we weren’t sure this was what we wanted. For ourselves or for our relationship. But I think in a way it was always sort of…inevitable.”

Alec clears his throat and nods. He’s happy to leave most of the talking to Ellie, but he also doesn’t want her to feel like he’s left her to fend for herself. “Much of our relationship was,” he adds. “Inevitable, that is.”

“How’s that?” Greer takes another sip of her wine. She feels a bit like she’s at the cinema, engrossed in the actors on the screen. 

“Well,” Alec and Ellie say at the same time. “Oh, you go, love,” Ellie says quickly, eager to hear what he has to say.

“The way we were thrown together. The circumstances that…led us here. At the start we’d never have guessed it would happen or have entertained the thought, ‘cause Ellie was married, but the way things unfolded…” Ellie is nodding thoughtfully, encouraging him with her eyes to finish his thought. “We found ourselves workin’ very closely very quickly. Our lives became sort of…intertwined that way. Wasn’t quite like anythin’ else.” 

“Mm.” She keeps nodding, absently rubbing his shoulders. “I hated his guts at first, but Alec was the one I went to after my husband’s arrest. He was the only person I could talk to. The only person who could understand somehow. And things just kept on that way, wouldn’t you say?” Alec nods his head. “We became each other’s lifelines in a weird way. We were ourselves together, for better or for worse.” She laughs. “We could annoy each other day in and day out but we kept coming back.”

It’s nice to talk about it, Ellie realizes. To talk about it without focusing on the tragedy of it all, the heartache, the anguish that led them here. It feels _healthy_ talking about it now with perspective, with clear heads and healed hearts.

“Who knew you could be so in love and so annoyed at the same bloody time?” Alec says, shaking his head at the incredulity of it all.

Ellie laughs. “I think when you’ve seen each other at your worst, and I mean _worst_, very worst, absolute bottom…there’s a natural sort of intimacy that builds. Whether you want it to or not,” she says, and it feels like she’s considering it this way for the first time. She looks at him and casually pushes the hair out of his eyes. “When I think back on you helping out with Fred – “ she glances briefly back at Greer – “just a baby at the time” – and back to Alec. “Pushing his buggy 'round, feeding him cheerios, putting him down for naps. Then it does, you’re right, feel inevitable that we would be here now.”

He takes a sip of his ice water. “A very powerful sort of trust there,” he agrees. “Though it is a bit alarmin’ how quickly you became the only person that really knew me.”

“Is it?” Ellie laughs. “You were quite pleased to be an enigma, I thought.”

“You wouldn’t _let_ me be a bloody enigma,” Alec argues. “Always pokin’ and proddin’. Scratchin’ at my veneer.”

Greer sniffs suddenly and they both look over to see that she’s crying. “Oh, fuck me, Greer, no,” Ellie says. “What did we say?”

Greer dabs her eyes, shaking her head vehemently. “It’s just such a _relief_,” Greer tells them. “Such an extraordinary relief, Alec, that you’ve found someone.”

To Ellie’s surprise, Alec does not wave Greer off or dismiss her in anyway. He holds her gaze. “For me too.”

Their server appears, of course, right at that moment. Alec orders a Waldorf salad and Ellie, determined to be good after the morning’s pastries, orders a chicken caesar salad – extra croutons. Greer orders a soup and sandwich combo. 

Once the server disappears again, Ellie leans back in her chair and crosses her legs. She returns her arm to the back of Alec’s chair and looks at him. “I was thinking just the other day, love, about when I found you rocking Fred to sleep. Standing in your bedroom, in that terrible tiny house of yours, just swaying him back and forth, his head on your shoulder.” He brings a hand to her knee. “I remember at the time wondering where on earth that sort of intimacy and tenderness came from. Because I didn’t know, then, that you were in love with me. So of course Fred would be a natural extension of that. I was so overwhelmed, you nearly caught me crying on the couch when you came back in.”

He squeezes her knee. “You were always cryin’ back then, I wouldn’t have thought much of it,” he says with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, then turns back to Greer. “I suppose all of this is to say, Greer, that it really was quite inevitable. That we’d have a baby someday. Though lord knows we couldn’t possibly have seen it. Clearly the universe was insisting.”

Alec looks at her until she finally looks at _him_ and then kisses her. She smiles against his lips, then wipes the lipstick off him with her thumb.

“Tell me about your boys, Ellie,” Greer beckons her.

Ellie’s face lights up. “_Oh_. Well!” She’s grinning. Alec looks over at Greer and smiles, as if telling her to _buckle up_. “Tom is fourteen, I can hardly _believe it_, really a full-on teenager, it’s complete nonsense. Going through a bit of an indifferent phase at the moment, but he’s really quite…lovely and mature and thoughtful when the opportunity presents itself. He’s all football and video games these days. Has started going out with mates more and more, starting to go to parties and things, which is a bit nerve-wracking. Really I think it’s a blessing having Daisy in the house though.” She looks over at Alec and finds agreement in his eyes. “At first I was a bit anxious about having _two _teenagers in the house but in a way I think that makes it easier. They’re less alone somehow. And I have something to compare to – otherwise I’d just be completely lost raising a teenager. Daisy’s so lovely I just try to emulate what Alec and Tess have done.”

Alec’s hand goes back to her knee. She glances over at him. “Am I talking too much?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “No, go on, love.”

“Fred’s the little one. Well, not so little one.” She sighs. “He’s five now and into everything. He’s sort of wild and courageous and creative. And sweet, oh is he sweet. Teaching him to read at the moment, though he insists he already knows how. He’s just memorized all the books.” She giggles at the thought of it. “Hard to believe my darling sweet baby will be going to school properly soon. But he’s just…oh, you’d love him, Greer. Adores Alec. Has a little stuffed giraffe he carries with him everywhere named Rhino. No one knows why and he refuses to explain. Headstrong little imp.”

Alec smirks. “Hard to imagine where _that_ comes from.” 

“They sound gorgeous,” Greer replies. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“Oh, please do come visit,” Ellie says. “We’re early in the process of moving house, but once we’re settled…” She turns to Alec and traces the outline of his ear with her index finger. “Once we’re settled we may even have some extra room, eh? We can finally accommodate guests.”

“We’ll see.” Alec offers them both a tight smile. “Still early days with the house-hunting.”

Their food arrives just in time to keep Alec from having to explain any more than that. He begins taking all the grapes out of his salad and placing them on Ellie’s plate. She eats them without discussion. Ellie looks up and notices Greer watching this.

“It’s so I’ll choke on the seeds.” 

Greer guffaws. “_Come again?_”

“Never you mind,” Alec says.

By the end of lunch, Greer has promised to show Ellie as many photographs as she likes. She suspects she may even be able to find a film reel or two. It’s possible even, she thinks, there might be a few from their holidays to Broadchurch. Ellie cannot contain her excitement. Though Alec is made somewhat uncomfortable by this, the delight on Ellie’s face is something he is content to admire.

The second half of Greer’s day will consist of grocery shopping for the evening’s spread. Ellie offers to help however she can, but Greer’s been warned enough about Ellie’s lack of domestic skill and kindly declines. She gives Alec and Ellie the afternoon off from assigned tasks, and they part ways. 

On the sidewalk outside the café, they stand together at a bit of a loss for a moment, not having anticipated much if any free time this weekend.

“Greer is so marvelous,” Ellie says, as the older woman begins to disappear from view. She stands next to Alec and slides an arm around his middle. “She clearly adores you. Which might be what I like most about her.”

She looks up at him and he just smiles, touching her cheek.

“What?” She asks. 

“Didn’t think it was possible,” Alec says. “But I think I’ve somehow fallen _more_ in love with you this weekend.”

She opens her mouth in surprise. Then it forms a teary smile. “You can’t say things like that to me, Alec, you know you can’t.” Her eyes well up.

“Sorry.” He draws her chin up and kisses her. 

“Look at you.” She wipes an annoying tear from her cheek. “So handsome and so daft.” She kisses him back.

Then he glances from her lips to her eyes. “Know what we _could_ do with our afternoon off…”

Her face slowly breaks into a grin.

*

They rush back to the house as quickly as possible, Alec driving like a madman through unusual mid-afternoon traffic. Grabbing her hand, he drags her into the house and they call out to see if anyone’s home. Nothing. It’s blissful.

They race up the stairs and into their temporary bedroom, locking the door behind them. For a second, it’s as if they don’t know what to do next. They stand opposite one another, a bit paralyzed. The last twenty-four hours have been so unbelievably overwhelming – illuminating and surprising. Somehow they’ve felt more connected than ever, despite their relationship essentially being on display, an exhibit in a museum for all to scrutinize. But they’ve gained a greater appreciation for each other. They’ve watched each other in awe, observed themselves in a new context. Everything has been completely familiar, because they are always themselves and always connected, and yet totally new. It’s like they’ve never been more attracted to each other, never more reverent. 

Ellie takes a few steps toward him, closing the gap, and brings her hands to his face, rubbing his scratchy beard. Then he lurches down and kisses her, it’s open-mouthed and langorous, sloppy and desperate. For a moment it’s unclear whether their tongues are fighting or working together, which somehow makes sense. She pulls at the collar of his shirt, bringing him even closer, and they stop to breathe but don’t separate, panting into each other’s mouths. Then her tongue darts back into his mouth and he pushes her against the wall, groaning and tripping over their own feet.

He lifts her jumper over her head and tosses it to the side, leaving her in her thin-strapped tank top. She begins speedily unfastening the buttons of his shirt, stopping when she makes it halfway to push it open and feel his chest. She runs her hands up and down from his breast bone to his throat, touching as much of him as is available to her as he continues to kiss her. Then in a sudden fit of unadulterated _need_, she rips open the second half of the shirt, buttons flying through the air. He pulls back just enough to see the look in her eyes and it does not disappoint. She makes a truly wicked noise of satisfaction and pushes the shirt off his shoulders. He shakes it off. 

Alec goes for her neck, that wild vampiric look in his eyes she knows well, but she stops him, her palms pressed to his chest, holding him back.

“Ellie,” he pants in protest.

She begins to slowly push him backward, in the direction of the bed. His legs hit the edge and she guides him down until he’s lying flat, then she crawls over him. She straddles him, settling just below his growing erection, and slides her hands up and down his body appreciatively. He yanks off her tank top impatiently, leaving her in her ill-fitting bra. Not that he minds. She goes for his belt buckle, leaning down and kissing him just above the waistband of his trousers. She pulls off the belt and tosses it away, then begins slowly kissing her way up his body. Both of his hands knead at her hips, grinding his own hips into her. Her lips reach his throat and she sucks at his pulse point, then runs her tongue over it, one hand pulling at his hair to keep his head back.

His hands slide up to the clasp of her bra and she sits up suddenly, pushing his hands away. Shaking her head slowly, she says, “_I’m _looking at _you_ now.” She crawls backward, unfastening his trousers and yanking them down. She steps off the bed and pulls them all the way off, then leans down, holding onto his ankles as she takes in the sight of him, impossibly hard and stretching the taut fabric of his briefs to capacity.

“Perfect,” she purrs. Then she slides her hands further up to massage his thighs. “Your body is _fucking_ perfect.” She doesn’t tell him that enough. She knows she doesn’t. “I’ve come at least once just thinking about it.” He lifts his head to look at her in surprise and she just nods, watching the wet spot on his briefs grow wider. She settles her face between his legs, sucking a mark into his inner thigh exactly the way he does to her. He whimpers and she can hear his hands flailing about, trying not to touch himself. She licks him through the fabric from tip to base and he makes an unintelligible noise from the back of his throat.

Ellie slowly kisses her way back up his body until his cock, through the fabric of his briefs and the fabric of her leggings and knickers, is nudging at her entrance. She gyrates her hips slowly, painfully, until they’re both gasping. She dips her head and kisses his pacemaker scar. He tangles his fingers in her hair. “So beautiful,” she whispers into his skin. All of her motions stop suddenly and her forehead comes to rest at his shoulder, her lips still pressed to the scar, but perfectly still. He feels her hot tears and runs a comforting hand up and down her spine.

“You deserve all the love there is,” she tells him, in a broken mumble that just barely squeaks out of her. 

“Hey.” He lifts her head so she can look at his face. “_I have it_.”

Then he surreptitiously unhooks her bra with a mischievous smile.

Her eyes still glisten with tears, but her expression changes to one of impishness. “You wanker.”

“_These_ deserve all the love there is too,” Alec says smugly, pushing the straps down her arms. 

She sits all the way up and whips the bra off her body.

“Ahhhh,” he exhales contentedly.

Then he sits up too, hands at her back to keep her upright and maneuvers onto his knees, keeping her straddling him. She blinks at him. “Your upper body strength is forever impressive to me.”

He presses open-mouthed kisses all over her chest like he’s trying to devour her whole, hands sliding up and down her naked back. She lets her head fall back and rotates her hips over him. “I love you so much,” he murmurs into her skin, positively worshipful. She arches her back and he takes a breast into his mouth, sliding his tongue over her nipple in half-circles.

Ellie leans back further, arching her back until her palms hit the mattress, and holds herself up that way. He releases her breast just long enough to whisper “_fucking goddess_” then moves his attention to the other breast, licking and sucking before closing his mouth around the top. She lets out a long, drawn out moan that makes his cock jump. He slips one hand between her legs, touching her through her leggings. He can _feel_ the vibration of her humming, stifling another moan. Pulling back from her breast, he crawls backward on his knees, gently lowering her arse onto the bed, then he strips off her leggings. He then goes to do the same with her knickers, but she extends a shapely leg and with her foot pushes him back down on the bed until he’s flat. With her toes, she lightly strokes his cock through his now nearly soaked briefs.

“_Fuck_, Ellie.”

Mid-stroke, it suddenly occurs to her that it’s the middle of the day. It’s the middle of the day and they’re not just having some quick shag against the wall or in the shower to release a bit of tension. They’re having a full-on, no holds barred, painfully and torturously slow lovemaking session, at two in the afternoon, in his childhood home, mere hours before his father’s funeral reception. And just like that, she’s laughing uproariously.

He bolts up, sitting up straight, and stares at her incredulously.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She turns her face into the bed trying to hide her laughter. He crawls over until he’s lying next to her face to face and waits for an explanation. She takes his face in her hands. “I’m sorry. I love you. I love us. We are absolute maniacs but I adore everything that we are.” She stops laughing finally, content to just be grinning at him. He can no longer be insulted. “I love your face.” She smushes his cheeks and kisses him. “I love the way you touch me. I love the way you sound when I touch you.” She runs a hand over his face. “I just love you.” She kisses him again. “And I love that I never, _ever_ have to worry about us.”

He gently pushes her onto back and moves over her, covering her entire body with his.

“I’m sorry, I know your father is dead, but I’m just so happy.”

The look on her face is so incredibly _earnest_ and the words feel so true and unfiltered coming out of her mouth, he can’t help it, he snorts then bursts out laughing, dropping his head to her shoulder as his body quakes. She starts laughing again too. 

He lifts his head again to look at her. “You’re a bloody _mess_, Ellie Miller.”

“I know.” She purses her lips tightly, trying to keep from laughing again, and the result is that she makes a face so absurd that it starts _him_ laughing again. She releases it into a grin. “I just love you so much.” 

“Oh, El,” he sighs, turning them both onto their sides, their bodies still flush together. He pushes her hair out of her face. “Sometimes I don’t think the word is enough. It doesn’t even begin to contain my feelings for you.”

She kisses him, needy and raw. Then she reaches to pull down his briefs. He pulls down her knickers. Then they both pull off their own underwear the rest of the way in the interest of efficiency. He pulls her leg up over his hip, fingers pressing eagerly into her thigh. Her eyes locked with his, she guides him inside her. They wrap their arms around each other and move together, slowly at first. Their kisses are lazy and messy, as if they’re overstimulated by too many feelings and sensations at once but can’t seem to stop. He caresses the side of her breast and flicks his thumb over her nipple, causing her to bite his bottom lip and pull at it with her teeth. 

Activated now, she rolls them over so that she’s on top and he delights in the change in position. She leans down to kiss his chest as she begins to move over him. They’re both in no rush whatsoever, content to stay in this as long as possible, locked away in their bedroom and the only thing they have to do is make each other feel good. It’s the perfect task. She lifts herself up again, placing her palms flat on his abdomen as she quickens the pace just a little. His eyes scan her body hungrily, from the swell of her breasts – now a full cup size larger than they were four months ago – to her swollen belly. He wants to say something elegant and sexy about her changing body, but all that comes out is a distinctly indistinct Scottish grunt. Which still very much turns her on. He bucks his hip up into her, hard, and she gasps. He reaches out to touch her and she closes her eyes as his hands roam her body aimlessly. Then he pulls her back down to him so that their upper bodies are flush together and she buries her face in his neck, panting into his skin.

Gripping her hips and holds her to him, he flips them over, thrusting deep inside her. She bends her knees and he pushes them as far apart as they will go. Then he lays one palm flat on her stomach, the other hand at her inner thigh, finding a rhythm in his thrusts.

Ellie smiles at his hair falling over his face, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his gaze intently fixed on the rise and fall of her chest. She reaches out to grab his arse with both hands and his gaze lifts to her face, flashing her a wily and wicked little smile that sends her reeling. He lowers himself down to kiss her, a bracing hand at either side of her head. She slithers her tongue eagerly into his mouth, now feeling the tensions in her body begin to rise. She squeezes his arse again with both hands, then slides a few fingers up and down between the two cheeks, which is usually enough to get him where she wants him.

“Make me come,” she whispers into his mouth, and he groans at the words.

He sits up on his knees and raises her hips, changing the angle, then reaches between them to find her clit. She nods fervently, repeating the word _yes_ more and more insistently, which starts to bring _him_ to the edge.

Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. Megan’s voice: “You two in there?” 

Alec abruptly stops all of his ministrations at once and Ellie gasps loudly at the loss of sensation, the pause in momentum.

“Oh, fuck, SORRY!” Megan has clearly heard this.

“No, no,” Ellie is whimpering to Alec, trying to be quiet about it but absolutely desperate for him to continue.

“WALKIN’ AWAY NOW!”

“Look at me,” Ellie whispers harshly. She can’t reach him to force him to. “Alec.” He looks back down at her, very slowly picking his thrusts back up. “That’s it, stay with me, love.” His fingers find her clit again and she bite her own lip. “Yes…” Suddenly he’s slamming into her abandon and it’s as if the interruption has unexpectedly aroused him _more_. “_Fuck _– yes…”

“Come on, babe,” he encourages her, knowing he’s getting close himself and there’s a chance, a slight chance, that they might be able to achieve this at the same time. There’s a part of him that _wants _people in the house to hear, that wants them to know that he’s good at _something_, and maybe that something is just making his gorgeous fiancee scream but he’ll take it. That’s a badge of honor he’ll wear with pride.

“_Alec_.” 

She’s almost there and he can tell right away that in this moment she doesn’t care how loud she is or who hears, he loves her so much. Said gorgeous fiancee who is unfailingly polite and thoughtful unless it gets in the way of her own explosive pleasure. She is hedonistic about sex and he adores this about her. 

“Come for me,” he says. “I’m right there.” And with one last powerful thrust, they’re both shattering at the same time and it is _glorious_. She cries out and it seems to echo through the walls. He collapses on her, gasping for air, sighing loudly with pleasure.

They did it. They came at the same time. A feat that happens only maybe once or twice a month. Their sense of accomplishment is heightened and expansive as they lie silently in recovery. He pulls out of her reluctantly and rolls onto his side. She shivers.

“Fuck it’s cold.” 

He sits up and reaches for the throw blanket that’s hanging half off the bed and covers them both with it. She curls into him, head on his chest, her favorite place to be.

“Better?”

“Mm.” She snuggles into him happily. “That was fucking _great_.”

It is unusual for her to grade him after sex, and he laughs. Then realizes she was complimenting herself as much as him. “Well done us,” he replies.

She lifts her head to look at him briefly. “We are really good at sex.” She lays her head down again. “Mostly me.”

He chuckles again and kisses her hair. “Mm-hmm.”

“Your heart is racing,” she observes with a yawn.

“Well. Yeah.”

She rubs his chest lightly with her hand then pats it. “Good heart. Lovely heart.” She yawns again. “My favorite heart.”

He tries to raise his head to look down at her. “You fallin’ asleep?”

She closes her eyes. “No.”

His hand falls down to her tailbone. “How’s your back?”

“Bit pinchy. But fine.”

Alec draws circles on her lower back with his fingers. “We should have a shower and get back.”

Ellie tilts her head up. “Then everyone will _know_.”

He snorts. “Idea didn’t bother you _before_.”

She sits up, frowning incredulously as she defends herself. “I was _so close_!”

“Did you hear yourself?” She blinks at him in response. “_Loud_.”

She shrugs, a bit embarrassed, and rolls onto her back. “Well maybe no one else is home besides - ”

There’s a knock at the door. Greer this time. “You two finished in there?”

Ellie’s eyes widen. She groans and turns to hide her face in a pillow.

“Awfully quiet _now_,” Greer calls to them.

“_Nooo_,” Ellie complains, muffled by the pillow.

“We’re all downstairs, come on and give us a hand,” Greer says. “_If_ your _masterful _hands are free now.”

Alec sighs heavily and calls out, “God’s sakes, go on!”

“Fine.”

The sound of her footsteps begins to fade. Ellie groans loudly into her pillow again. He leans over and touches his forehead to her shoulder.

“_All_?” Ellie moans. “We’re _all _downstairs? Oh _god_.”

“Should’ve thought of that when you were so keen earlier.” He kisses her shoulder. “Come on, up we go. People have sex, even they know that.” He swats her arse then climbs out of bed. “You had to get pregnant somehow.”

“Knob.”

She pulls the covers over her head.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst forthcoming in the next chapter. Don't worry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all awesome.

The downstairs of the house is aflutter with activity. Members of the family are harriedly setting up for the funeral reception, or the pre-funeral reception as it were – moving furniture, cleaning, setting out food, and generally arranging the space to accommodate a large number of people.

Ellie wears a dark purple cocktail dress with a boat neckline. It barely fits, and it in no way hides the fact that she’s pregnant, but it’s one of the few dark-colored clothing items she owns, and the other one must be saved for the funeral tomorrow. Alec has changed into one of his signature suits, but has left the jacket upstairs for now. When they enter the living room, the flurry of action halts.

“All right, how can we help?” Ellie asks brightly, hoping that if she changes the subject before the subject _begins_, they can avoid the topic altogether.

“Well, well, well.” Greer leans against the mantle smugly.

Angus slaps Alec on the back. “Guess we’ve figured out how you’ve managed to land _her_, old man.”

Emma is standing in the corner, arms folded across her chest, not meeting anyone’s eye.

Megan glides up behind them and touches Ellie’s arm. “I am _so sorry _again.”

Alec is glaring at all of them. Ellie is bright red. “It’s, um. It’s just, um.” She places her hands on her hips and shrugs her shoulders. “Hormones. You know.”

“What?” Daisy sticks her head out from behind Robby and Billy. “What is?”

Daisy and Melody had clearly missed the whole embarassing event, fortunately. Both Alec and Ellie seem to be breathing a sigh of relief.

“Just a little mid-afternoon shag, Daiz,” Robby says, nudging Billy and nearly toppling over with laughter.

“Ah, I remember those days,” Greer says, suddenly understanding, based on Ellie’s tepid explanation. She glances over at Angus across the room. “Don’t you, Angus?”

There’s a bit of an uproar and Daisy frowns in disgust at Alec and Ellie. “Oh bloody hell you two.” Grimacing, she disappears back into the kitchen, dragging Melody with her. 

Even Harry and Archie can't seem to help snickering a bit. “You _must_ tell me your secret,” Archie says, grinning slyly at Alec.

Harry laughs. “If I could get the girls at school to make sounds like _that_, they’d never leave me alone.”

“I guess he’s learned a thing or two over the years,” Emma says bitterly.

“Now we know why Ellie stays so close to the grumpy old broke,” Billy quips.

Ellie’s bashful embarrassment has by this point begun to evolve into a sort of pride and indignance. She holds her head up high and reaches for Alec, hanging on him.

“Why indeed,” she says coolly. Alec straightens his spine. He knows this tone of voice. His family is about to get _pulverized_. “Could it be because a real man _pays attention_ to what women like? Perhaps because a real man _listens _and _practices_ and goes _all night_ if he has to?” She runs a hand across Alec’s chest, then steps toward Robby and Billy. “Your cousin, _boys_, can do things with his tongue that your imagination cannot even dream _up_. And why? _Because he does it every night_.” She makes a click with her tongue.

Alec feels like he wants to cover his eyes. Maybe cover his ears. It’s too good not to watch and yet agonizing at the same time. He’s seen her take people down, seen her do it ten at a time, knocking people over like bowling pins, there’s a reason he’s put her in charge of all the bollocksing at work, but he’s never had occasion to see her do it so _graphically_ and quite frankly he’s surprised. And it’s a bit thrilling, that he can still be surprised by someone he knows better than his own self.

“And his _hands_…” She moves to Archie and Harry, like a cat, like they’re prey and she’s stalking them. “_Masterful_, yes, impossibly skilled in their maneuvers and manipulations, his fingers are electric and command a certain _precision_ that just _hits. the. spot. _Every time. And why, now?” She steps around and behind Emma. “This one will surprise you, _why_, because he’s a man in _love_. A man inspired. A man with a muse, and a man with a muse is a man who is _motivated_ to make that muse _scream_. By any means necessary.”

Alec watches her, and everyone else, with wide eyes, folds his arms across his chest and covers his mouth with one hand, to hide the fact that he’s smiling

“And then of course there’s…” She whirls around to face Alec and gestures elegantly toward his crotch. “Well. Some things are just god-given. Pure _luck_.”

She whirls back around to face all of them.

“Any questions?”

All of the men are fully shell-shocked, while Greer and Megan have come together to watch in awe and amusement. They both start clapping. Even some of the men start clapping.

Alec takes a few steps toward her, grabs her hand and yanks her against him in one swift movement. “I would drag you upstairs right now if we hadn’t just – “ She cuts him off with her lips, kissing him as if to put a perfect little button on her entire speech.

When she finally pulls back, he whispers against her lips with a raised eyebrow: “Every night?”

She shrugs. “Most nights.”

He kisses her again. The clapping and uproar finally subsides.

“All right, she can stay!” Robby announces. “She’s pure evil, but she can stay.”

*

An hour before the reception is due to begin, Ellie finds herself sitting at the kitchen table with Megan, folding napkins. She finds the task inane and unnecessary, but evidently James Hardy had a thing about it and they fear his wrath from beyond the grave. In any case, this is the only domestic task Ellie is apparently to be trusted with, so she embraces the opportunity to help.

“So,” Ellie says, glancing up at Megan. “Giving Alec a hard time seems to be a popular pass time around these parts.”

Megan shrugs a little imperceptibly and nods. “Well. When a person _leaves_ a place behind, the people who are left will do one of two things: romanticize them or despise them. Okay, not despise them, but…create stories in their heads, you know? When we feel abandoned, we find ways to build ourselves up while tearin’ the abandoner down,” she explains. “So poor Alec is an easy target. Especially for those who stuck around.”

Ellie considers this, nodding. “Why do you think he doesn’t visit?”

Megan raises an eyebrow but otherwise keeps her eyes on her work. “Should be askin’ _you_, I reckon.”

“He doesn’t talk about it much.” It causes her some distress to admit it. They talk about everything. But rarely do they talk about this. “You don’t get along, he says.”

Megan shakes her head derisively. “We get along fine for the most part. As you’ve seen.”

“Yes.”

“What else has he told you?”

“Well.” Ellie sifts through what little she has to go on. “That his parents were…ill-suited and used to fight constantly, but they never divorced. That his mother died around the time he went to university. His father was verbally abusive. Sometimes physically. That Greer…exists. And that they had an older sister, Bridget, who died when Alec was eight. That’s the long and short of what I know.” 

“At least that much is true.” Megan offers her a small smile.

“Doesn’t seem like quite enough to justify shutting one’s family out entirely,” Ellie remarks, a bit reluctantly.

“No, it doesn’t,” Megan replies. “And so you see where there might be some resentment on our part.”

“…Yes. I do.” Ellie stops folding and looks at her now. “But is there more?”

Megan looks up. “Shouldn’t he be the one to tell you?”

There’s a pause as Ellie considers how to phrase her thoughts. “I think…he brought me here under the assumption that you all _would_. And he wouldn’t have to.”

Megan sighs. “Well. You must know about Alec’s fear of water, of course." 

“Of course.” But she’s surprised _Megan _knows. “Pippa Gillespie, the Sandbrook case.”

Megan frowns in confusion. “No. I – no. That’s how Bridget died,” she says. “Alec couldn’t swim. They were all on vacation down in…well, in Broadchurch. Alec went into the water, though he could teach _himself_, stubborn git, it all made Bridget too nervous and she went after him. Waves picked up, she got pulled him.”

Ellie is dumbfounded. “I – in _Broadchurch_?”

“Yeah. Frankly can’t believe he didn’t tell you at least _that_ much.”

She shakes her head, processing. “Explains quite a bit about why he used to hate it so much, at least.”

“They never went back after that,” Megan says.

Ellie nods slowly. “Quite right.” She stares at her lap for a moment. “And he blames himself, no trouble believing that, but did…did everyone else…”

“I was never quite sure,” she answers. “I think Granddad did. I don’t think my mum did. Or her mum. But…hard to say, I didn’t come along until four years later, me.”

“Still doesn’t fully explain why he’s gone off on you all,” Ellie says, trying to parse through it all.

“Alec always had a bit of a hard time…gettin’ on with everyone, I guess. Communicatin’. Man of few words, our Alec,” Megan replies with a slight smile. “Everyone else is of far too many words here. He got lost in the shuffle sometimes, as I recall. He kept it up for a while though, was a good sport, visited dutifully even after he’d left the country. When it stopped, I assumed he’d just tired of it. Puttin’ up with us all, tryin’ to force it. At this point, I think you know as well as I. Which apparently isn’t much.”

Ellie is quiet for a few moments. She leans back and crosses her legs, folds her arms across her chest, deep in thought. “You know, I…I honestly think he prefers to limit the number of people he has to be vulnerable with,” she says finally. “He has an exterior that’s been working for him. And then the interior…that he seems to save for me and the kids. It comes out now and then in front of others, but to my knowledge that’s also only when I’m around, or the kids are.”

Megan cringes a little. “Not a…_great _reason.”

“I know,” Ellie says quietly. “But it’s what he’s comfortable with. I mean, listen, this is a man who doesn’t let the majority of people in his life call him by his _surname_. It was _years_ before I called him Alec. And for a while it was just _sir_.”

Megan smirks. “Bit naughty.”

“Didn’t feel that way at the time, _believe_ me,” Ellie responds. “Anyway, this…this is a whole mess of people who not only call him Alec but who know things about him that obviously he’d prefer no one know.”

“That’s what family is,” Megan replies dubiously.

“You’re right. I know. You’ll hear no arguments from me,” she says. “And I think this is something I can help with. Especially with the baby coming, I want us to have as much family as we _can_. Right now we’ve got my dad, my sister, and my very annoying nephew and that’s about it. I’d be thrilled to have you all in our lives on a regular basis.”

Megan leans forward and takes Ellie’s hand. “You know you’re about to become my aunt, right?”

Ellie flinches. “Good god you’re right.”

“Melody’s _great _aunt.”

“All right that’s enough out of you.” Ellie shakes off the notion. “I have enough of a complex being forty-three and pregnant. I can’t be forty-three, pregnant, _and _a great-aunt, that’s just too much to bare with any dignity.”

*

People begin arriving for the reception before the Hardys are ready for them and then don’t seem to stop pouring in. If James Hardy was so unpopular, Ellie wonders who all these people must be. Megan explains that they have quite an expansive extended family, all of whom have an alarming sense of loyalty, and she surmises that he had instilled such a sense of terror in his colleagues at the University that they fear him even in death.

Both Alec and Ellie, respectively, are trying to wind through the crowd to find each other. Every second Alec is without her in a crowd of people is another second he’d rather vanish into quicksand. But they both get stopped constantly. 

Ellie finds that she enjoys introducing herself as “Ellie Miller, Alec’s fiancee.” Though she never quite knows how to respond to the exclamations of shock and awe that inevitably follow, especially from those who pick up on the fact that she’s pregnant. There’s a smidge of judgment from his more Catholic relatives, but for the most part it seems far more related to who they’ve all decided Alec is as a person. And apparently getting married and having a baby at age forty-seven does not fall into their idea of who he is.

After nearly an hour, they spot each other across a small group of people and both smile with relief. Ellie tilts her head, gesturing out to the front porch. She turns and heads that way, he follows. 

When he steps out onto the mostly empty porch, she holds out her hand to him. “Ellie Miller, Alec’s fiancee.”

“Ah, _you’re_ the fiancee.” He accepts her hand. “Alec Hardy, miserable without you.”

She laughs and snakes her arms up around his neck, pulling him into a long, tight hug, which he reciprocates gratefully. 

“All right so far?” She murmurs, planting a kiss on his neck.

“Mm.” He holds her tighter, hiding his face in the crook of her neck. “Better now.”

She starts to pull back but he doesn’t let her. She smiles, rubbing his back. “Oh, my sweet.”

“Not sweet,” he grumbles into her skin, like a petulant child.

Ellie brings her hands to the back of his neck and pulls back just enough to kiss his ear, his jaw, his cheek. “Oh, I know better,” she whispers, with a kiss to his eyelid. “My sweet, sweet love.” She brings his forehead to hers and runs her fingers through his hair. His hands are still clasped tightly at the small of her back, holding her close.

“Careful, people will think I’ve gone soft,” Alec says quietly.

“My god, they might even think you’re in _love_,” Ellie gasps, flashing him a taunting smile. “Cat’s out of the bag, baby. Nearly everyone’s met your pregnant fiancee. And she is _delightful_, thoroughly chaming, _beams_ whenever she speaks your name. Sings your praises as if she can actually carry a tune.”

He kisses her. “Stop talkin’.”

She grins, ignoring him. “The very Catholic ones _love_ me. Big hit with the religious right,” she says, placing a hand on her protruding stomach.

He places a hand over hers. “Don’t like any of them anyway.”

“I have to tell you,” she says, gently pulling her hand away. “I’m a bit cross with you.” 

He takes a step back from her. “Oh, you too?” 

“Megan told me the truth about Bridget.” She looks at him uncertainly, watching his expression change. “I’d like _not_ to be cross with you, obviously, because I…I, my heart is…” She exhales. “But you should have told me. I can’t have you going back there, going back to the place where…the Alec Hardy who texted me _after_ his pacemaker surgery, who dragged me to Sandbrook and didn’t tell me we were meeting his ex-wife. I can’t have – I know this is just one thing, I _hope_ it’s just one thing, but it _scares _me, Alec, it scares me not to know what you might not be telling me and I _know _some things are hard to talk about but – “

He cuts her off, reaching out and cupping her face in his hands. “Hey. I’m not – not keepin’ things from you, all right? I don’t keep things from you. Just wasn’t sure how to --- share the details of this particular…thing, and – “ He sighs. “I’m sorry. You’re right to be cross. I should’ve told you.”

She nods, searching his eyes, and they both know she’s not cross anymore. He takes her hand and leads her over to the porch swing. He waits for her to sit, then sits beside her. She turns to face him, expectantly.

“For a while I thought I _had _told you,” he says. “The last few years…before we were together, things would just come out, you had this uncanny ability to knock secrets right out of me and I thought surely this one you had somehow extricated from me. And when I realized you didn’t know, it felt strange to just suddenly come out with it. To tell you somethin’ I should’ve told you much earlier. Seemed best to leave it and let it come out organically.”

She takes his hand and pulls it into her lap.

“I don’t keep things from you, Ellie,” Alec says firmly, looking her square in the eyes.

She nods, taking him at his word. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Ellie runs her thumbs over the back of his hand. “Do you…want to talk to me about what happened?”

He looks down, then over at her. “Maybe later. Once everyone’s gone?”

She nods, then lays her head on his shoulder. “Oh, what a long day it’s been,” she exhales.

He pats her legs and she lifts them onto the swing, her feet in his lap. He slips off her modest heels and tosses them back on the ground, then begins to massage her feet.

“Soon everyone will be gone,” he says with a wistful sigh. “And it’ll be just you, me, and Baby Girl.”

“…And everyone who’s stayin’ overnight in this house.”

He presses a finger into the arch of her foot. “You can frighten ‘em all away with one of your ‘any questions?’ speeches.”

Ellie throws her head back and laughs. As he kneads a foot with one hand, the other hand slides up and down her leg. He stares at it, as if the movements are experimental and he’s studying her smooth skin, trying to commit the feel of it to memory. She watches him. It’s one of her favorite things to do. Watch him touch her. Watch the way he touches her. With such reverence and concentration. Like it’s _important_, like his fingertips brushing against her skin is something essential to the survival of humanity, the first step to a cure for cancer.

She hates to say it, but: “We should go back inside.”

“Mm, no.” He shakes his head, keeping his focus on her legs. He says it casually but unequivocally and something about it makes her smile.

His hand slides up over her knee, slipping under the hem of her dress. She knows he’s not trying to seduce her. It’s not sexual. He is truly just reveling in the feel of her, finding solace in the goose pimples that are now rising from her skin. One hand is still massaging her foot. 

A few family members whose names she can’t rightly remember step out onto the porch, and then upon seeing them, immediately retreat back into the house. Ellie looks at him, still so focused on her, his hand sliding up and down the back of her thigh now.

“Alec.” She waits until he looks up at her. “We’re not in private, love.”

Somehow he always feels like they are when they’re together. He just conveniently…forgets that the world is in fact quite populated. He brings his wandering hand back to her other foot and focuses on the massage.

“Bridget died because of me and for a long time I thought it _should _have been me,” he says suddenly, keeping his eyes on her feet in his lap. “I left because I didn’t want anyone comparin’ my life to what hers could have been. Comparin’ the merits of the two lives. If I was accomplishin’ enough to make up for the fact that she was gone. To make my life worth hers."

Ellie listens to him a bit stricken, mildly terrified of where this is going.

“I didn’t want my successes and failures to be out here in plain sight. Just so they could think, _oh, Alec’s wastin’ his life and think of all the things Bridget could’ve done with it_,” he continues. “Now with you and Daiz and Baby Girl here – I wish we’d brought the boys now, I really do – you’re all successes. You’re all why it wasn’t me. And I didn’t know that until now.”

He raises her leg and kisses the bottom of her foot. Her breath catches in her throat and she doesn’t know whether to cry or laugh with relief. He finally looks at her and the result is that she does _both_.

Greer steps out onto the porch and has clearly been looking for them.

“Oi, you two,” she says, approaching the swing. Ellie turns to look at her, eyes full of tears. “Oh, christ, Alec, what’ve you said.”

“Do you need us?” Ellie asks, wiping away tears.

“Doin’ a toast for Dad,” Greer says.

Ellie nods and swings her legs off Alec’s lap. He reaches for her shoes and slips them back onto her feet for her. They both stand, and Alec begins to follow Greer inside. Ellie stops him with a hand on his elbow. Then she wraps her arms around his waist from behind, pulling his back into her chest. They both breathe evenly for a few moments, in time with each other, then she lets go and moves beside him, taking his arm.

She looks up at him. “Once more unto the breach?”

He smiles down at her, then leads her inside.

*


	8. Chapter 8

After the toast, Alec heads straight for the bar. He’s been good all day, but now it’s time for a scotch. Two fingers’ worth.

Ellie is attached to the platter of cucumber sandwiches at the end of the buffet table. She has already had three when she is approached by a tall dark stranger. At least, her inner narration refers to him as such. He takes one off the platter.

“I think this is my fourth,” he says, sheepishly taking a bite. “I’d like to sue whoever made these.”

Ellie chuckles, covering her full mouth, and nods enthusiastically. “Put the bastard in jail.”

They smile at each other, then he holds out a hand to her. “Charlie Bakewell.” 

“Ellie Miller,” she replies, shaking it. “Alec’s fiancee.”

Charlie’s eyes go wide and he takes a step back, taking her in. She has gotten quite accustomed to this reaction over the last two hours, so she simply grabs another cucumber sandwich and takes a bite.

“Alec’s _fiancee_,” Charlie repeats.

“The one and only!” Ellie says. “Better be, anyhow.”

Alec approaches Ellie from behind, placing a hand at her hip before she can see him. “You should pace yourself with those,” he says, laughing.

Feeling his hand on her, she turns around into him. “That’s not really my thing.”

It’s then that Alec notices Charlie. “Oh.”

Ellie looks back and forth between them.

“Alec.”

“…Charlie.”

Charlie holds his hand out and Alec hesitantly shakes it. Ellie is watching in suspense. “…How do you two know each other?”

Charlie laughs, looking down and shaking his head. Alec looks a bit uncertainly at Ellie.

“We were best mates,” Charlie says finally. “For fifteen years.”

Ellie turns her head and looks up at Alec with her jaw wide open. “_What_’s all this?”

Alec sighs. “We were mates at school.”

“And beyond.”

“_How _beyond?” Ellie pops the second half of the cucumber sandwich in her mouth, but doesn’t take her eyes off them.

“Well.” Charlie glares over at Alec. “Was meant to be Daisy’s godfather.”

Ellie jabs Alec in the ribs. “You knob. _Oh I don’t keep things from you, Ellie_.” She makes a face at him and grabs another cucumber sandwich.

“I don’t – I didn’t keep this from you,” Alec says, scrambling. “There’s nothing to – we were mates and then we weren’t. It wasn’t a big to-do.”

“Nice to hear you say that,” Charlie says bitterly.

“What happened then?” Ellie is looking at Charlie, not Alec.

“The old lady never much liked me,” he explains. “Eventually she never much liked me so much that Alec had to choose.”

“She was my _wife_, we’d just had a _baby_, what was I going to – “ Alec protests, cutting himself off to take a sip of scotch.

“Alec.” Charlie laughs suddenly, then reaches out to gently slap his arm. “Come off it, I’m not upset anymore, it’s been seventeen years! Water under the bridge.

“…Really?”

“I showed up to your ruddy _father_’s funeral, didn’t I?”

Alec studies him for a moment, perhaps wondering if he’s being serious. Then he shoves his hands in his pockets and says, “It’s good to see you.”

“Was afraid I’d run into Tess,” Charlie says, then gestures to Ellie. “What a thrilling surprise to meet this lovely lass instead.”

Alec gives him a firm nod. “Tess and I split up years ago.”

“Can’t say I’m sad to hear it.” Charlie smiles at Ellie, then looks back at Alec. “And evidently you’re not either.”

“Daisy’s here too,” Ellie says, now thoroughly tickled by the whole situation. “You’ll have to meet her later. Seventeen now! But I guess you know that.”

“Is it just Daisy?” Charlie asks. “Or have you got more kids now?”

Alec clears her throat. “Two boys at home. Ellie’s.” 

“From my first marriage,” she adds, and it sounds odd to her coming out of her own mouth. _My first marriage_. It might be the first time she’s said it.

“And, um…” Alec gestures vaguely at Ellie, which garners a raised eyebrow from her.

“Oh,” Charlie says, looking at her and somehow puzzling it out. “Are you…”

“Four months pregnant? Why yes, thank you for asking,” she replies.

“Congratulations. Never too late, is it?”

Ellie frowns. “I’ve been called _old_ enough for one day, thank you.”

Charlie smirks. “Callin’ _him _old, not you.”

Alec rolls his eyes. “If I’m old, you’re old.

“Oh, this is fun, I like this,” Ellie says. “If only I had some popcorn.”

Alec glares at her grumpily. She cheekily grins up at him. Charlie chuckles and takes a sip of his drink. “Like_ her_ better already.”

“Charlie?” Emma’s voice startles the threesome. She comes up behind him. “Charlie. I thought that was you though I can hardly believe it.”

Emma and Charlie cheek-kiss. Ellie groans loudly and Alec laughs into his scotch at her.

“You haven’t changed a bit,” Charlie tells her.

“It’s been, what, twenty years?”

Ellie not to subtlely bounces a bit on her tiptoes as she tries to conjure an excuse to vacate the conversation. Alec watches her a bit dubiously.

“So sorry, pardon the pregnant lady, must go for a wee.” She not so deftly weaves out of them and dips away.

In the loo, Ellie stands at the sink, leaning on the counter and staring into the mirror. She thinks about Bridget. She thinks about poor sweet eight-year-old Alec. The waves. Emma’s face. The sound of Megan knocking on the door while they were having sex, at the absolute worst possible moment. The cathedral. Greer crying at lunch. Cucumber sandwiches.

The pain in her lower back begins to flare up again. And she thinks about the sea of judgmental faces down the hall – the expressions of strangers when they learned she was marrying Alec Hardy, and then their expressions when they learned she was pregnant. Alec saying “you, me, and Baby Girl.” Being a great-aunt. The way Alec’s hand trembled in hers during the toast to his father. Catching Daisy’s uncertain eye across the room. Choking on the seeds. Phoning the boys only to find them uninterested in speaking to her. Either too busy or too put off. The waves again. Alec’s words during their afternoon tryst: _fucking goddess_. The dress currently clinging to her body that just does not fit.

And suddenly she’s on her knees in front of the toilet, throwing up into it.

She gives it a few minutes, until she’s certain she has nothing left, then goes back to the sink. She swallows handful of water after handful of water, sloshing some around in her mouth and spitting it back out. Then she leans back against the wall and closes her eyes until her heart rate returns back to normal. 

Back at the reception, all Ellie wants to do is find Charlie again and grill him for details on all things Young Alec. But she sees that he is still stuck in conversation with Alec and Emma. The three of them standing to the side. Emma _smiling_. She decides to avoid them altogether, but then Alec is calling her name over a sea of people. 

“Ellie!”

She turns, sighs, and goes to them. He lays a hand at the small of her back and leans down to whisper in her ear. “All right?”

That’s when Emma turns to look at her, one eyebrow arched. “Bit worse for wear,” she comments.

Ellie purses her lips, then bites the bottom one to keep from responding. She wonders if Alec will do it for her. If he ever will do it for her. Or just let Emma’s derisive remarks about her hang in the air, unchecked.

Charlie turns to Alec and Ellie. “You must tell me how _you_ two met.”

“Oh.” Emma rolls her eyes. “Not this again. These two have been holdin’ court all weekend, I’ll take my leave if nobody minds.”

Ellie suddenly reaches out to grabs onto Emma’s elbow, keeping her in place. “What is it then? What exactly is it about me that you find so vile and repulsive? Can’t all be because you used to date _him_.” She gesture at Alec. “_Thirty years ago_. Thirty years and in bloody high school no less, so it must be me.”

Emma is looking down and seems to be searching for the words. Ellie continues. “Because frankly I’m largely unmoved by you and I have _unquestionably_ been called worse in my life and I could not possibly _be_ less jealous, but the fact that you do it in front of everyone else….that you feel the need to make your feelings plain to everyone around you is a bit…well, childish, to be honest but more than that, _annoying_ and I’ve got quite enough on this weekend without you coming at me over every little thing so I’d just as soon – “ 

“It’s not you,” Emma says quietly.

“Like fuck it isn’t,” Ellie replies indignantly.

“It’s…that.” Emma raises an arm and gestures vaguely at Ellie’s stomach.

She frowns. “What?” 

“It’s your…” Emma looks away but gestures again. “It’s that. It’s…”

Ellie folds her arms across her chest. “My unborn child offends you?”

“_His_ unborn child,” the older woman replies, still not meeting anyone’s eye. “I was. Fuck.” She covers her face and rubs her eyes. “I was pregnant. When we were seventeen. I had an abortion when – “ She looks at Alec now. “When you went to uni.”

All the air seems to go out of the room though it is only the four of them who hear her. Alec has gone limp and pale. Charlie’s eyes are wide, his mouth slightly open. Ellie feels the wave of nausea begin to resurface. Then, she can’t help it, the last thing she wants to do right now is run off, to draw attention, to make it about her, but she _has _to. She scurries back off to the loo, locking the door behind her and throwing up again.

Then she sits on the linoleum, leaning her back against the wall near the toilet. For what feels like ages. People knock on the door and eventually leave. Knock again and eventually leave. Knocking, knocking, knocking. The dull roar of the crowd of people outside slowly begins to fade, the knocking becomes less and less.

When she finally emerges, the house is quiet. She spots Robby and Megan near the buffet, bagging up leftovers. Greer and Angus sit in the living room, both with a glass of scotch, clearly exhausted. In the kitchen, she finds Archie and Billy, who have started on the washing up. She stands in the doorway.

“Alec?” She asks.

“Disappeared out back, last I saw,” Billy replies. “Thought he’d given up smoking.”

Ellie makes her to the sliding glass door that leads to the expansive back garden. At first she doesn’t see him. But then, in the dark, she notices him lying on the grass, flat on his back. She slips off her shoes and leave them by the door, then walks through the grass until she makes it to him. He looks up at her.

“Sorry,” she says softly. “I just, um. Needed to – nevermind. Are you all right?”

He reaches a hand out and touches her ankle. She smiles imperceptibly. He really will touch any part of her he can reach just to experience one second of comfort.

Ellie sits down on the grass, then lays down beside him, both of them staring up at the night sky. She make a sound like she’s sighing heavily, but really she’s just breathing in the crisp night air, relishing the refreshing coolness of it.

“I didn’t know,” Alec says, turning his head to look at her. “I swear I didn’t know.”

“Oh…” She reaches out and touches his cheek. “I know, love. I know you didn’t.” She props her head up leaning on her elbow, and places a hand on his chest. “How’s Emma?”

“Dunno.” He looks back up at the sky. “Went to bed.”

“I’m sorry,” Ellie says. “I’m sorry it happened. I’m sorry she kept it from you. But whatever you’re feeling, I hope you’ll remember that it was much worse on her, thirty years ago. It’s not your fault – nothing about it is your fault – but it was worse for her.”

He says nothing, and she rubs his chest.

“She should have told me,” Alec says finally.

“I agree,” Ellie replies. “But it was still her decision to make.”

“I could have done something. Helped. Been there, at least.”

She kisses his temple.

“I could have a thirty-year-old child,” he says, thoroughly confounded.

“Yes,” she agrees, hand on his chest, thumb running over his scar. “But I think we might all agree that it’s very much for the best that you don’t.”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Be sort of funny though.” She finds herself smirking despite her best effort. “To have a thirty-year-old, a seventeen-year-old, and an infant.”

He looks back at her, frowning. “_And_ a fourteen-year-old and a five-year-old.”

“Yes.” She smiles. “Five children between the ages of thirty and zero. Every man’s dream.”

He sighs, shaking his head at the thought. “Be awful to have a child with her. Emma. To co-parent with her.”

“You might’ve married her, you realize,” Ellie suggests. “I know you. You’d have married her. Then you might not’ve met Tess and had Daisy. Might not’ve met me.”

He turns his head to smile at her, just slightly. “No. All roads lead to you. That I know for certain.”

Ellie touches his cheek. She’s running out of ways to show her gratitude for all the words of love he’s offered her this particular weekend. He’s really tuning into her love language lately. But then he sits up, rearranging himself to lie with his head on her stomach, holding onto her legs. She scratches his scalp, fingers running through his hair.

“She’s not going anywhere, love,” Ellie tells him softly.

“How long ‘til we can feel her?”

“Mm…” She keeps one hand in his hair and lets the other rub his back. “Any day now, for me. For you a while longer. Few weeks maybe.”

“You’ll tell me,” he says. “When you do?”

“Course.”

They lay on the grass in silence for a while, reveling in the quiet and stillness. Then she feels him slide a cold hand up her dress and roam around her thigh.

“Where’d you get off to earlier?” He asks.

She hesitates. But she’s be an awful hypocrite if she kept it from him. “Threw up,” she admits. “Twice.”

He raises his head, frowning with concern at her. “You did?”

“Just got a bit overwhelmed, I think. Been a big weekend, if you haven’t noticed,” she replies.

He sits up, pulling his hand out of her dress and instead placing it on her stomach. “You’ve not had morning sickness for weeks.”

“’s all right, love. I just feel things a bit more…_viscerally_ when I’m pregnant. My emotional reactions turn physical sometimes,” she tells him. “My brain was having trouble sifting through everything that’s happened this weekend, everything I’ve felt and seen. And it just all came up. Nothing to fret over.”

“How do you feel now?" 

She can feel him observing her for any and all signs of physical distress.

“Fine. Honest.”

He stands up, brushing himself off, then holds out a hand to her. She takes it and he pulls her up.

“Taking you to bed,” he says definitively

“_Oh_.” Her eyes sparkle. “I like _that_.”

He snorts, then puts an arm around her and walks her inside.

Moving through the ground level of the house, they manage to avoid getting pulled into any further conversations with remaining family. They feel a tad guilty about not pulling their weight tidying up, but neither one of them has the energy to pretend they’re up to it, or want to. In the living room, they pop in on Daisy and Megan, of all people, playing video games.

“All right, Daiz?” Alec checks in. “We’re turnin’ in, I think.”

Daisy barely grunts in response, and they continue upstairs. 

Once they make it to their room, Alec leads her to the bed and sits her down. He takes his jacket off then he kneels in front of her and takes her heels off. He rubs her feet, her ankles, her calves. She just watches him, smiling. She wants to stop him, but she can’t bring herself to. It’s an odd thing – she’s desperate to take care of him and he’s desperate to take care of her and only one of them can succeed in any single moment. But the truth is, she knows well enough that by simply _letting_ him take care of her, she’s taking care of him. That’s when he feels most whole, most satisfied, most like himself. 

“Like to speak more to Charlie,” she says, needing to keep things at least somewhat light. “The _stories_ that man must have.”

Alec grunts, moving to sit between her knees, sliding both hands up her dress.

“I get quite a thrill out of imagining you with a best friend,” Ellie continues, leaning back a bit, palms flat on the bed just behind her. “Getting into trouble. Being a bit naughty. Being each other’s wingmen.”

He lies his head in her lap.

“I was still _me_, Ellie,” he grumbles.

“Yes, _you_, but _twenty_. You must have been a least a _little_ bit wild,” she insists, letting her imagination run rampant. “Wonder if we’d have gotten along then. _I _was certainly a bit wild.”

“Mm. You’d be draggin’ me on pub crawls night after night and I’d just be followin’ you around like a dog on a leash,” he replies. “You’d have driven me bloody mad and the whole affair would’ve gone up in flames weeks in.”

“Ah but a blaze of _glory_.” She grins. “I _was _quite fetching then. Had a certain_ charisma_ then. Could get the boys to do just about anything,” she says with a wistful sigh. “Amazing what a little confidence and enthusiasm can get you.”

He raises his head and starts pushing her dress up. He runs his hands up and down her thighs, massaging them.

“Why didn’t Tess like him?” Ellie questions. “Charlie.”

“Have to talk about that _now_?” He complains, resting his head on her thigh in exasperation.

“What’s wrong with now?”

He looks up at her dubiously and she’s smirking. “You drive me bloody mad even _now_,” he groans. “Think she was in love with him. That answer your question?”

“_Oh_.” She was not expecting _that_. “So you think she was doing the protest too much thing.” 

“Just a guess. Doesn’t matter now. She was insistent at the time and I was…well, given the situation, I didn’t have much of a choice,” he explains quickly and casually.

“Doesn’t bother you?”

“As you’re as _you’re_ not in love with him, I couldn’t care less,” Alec replies. He kisses the inside of her thigh.

“Hard to say. I barely know him as yet.” He bites her flesh and she hisses. “Fair enough.” He drags his tongue along the inside of her thigh and then stops to suck on her skin. “Are you trying to seduce me or relax me?”

Almost unintelligibly he replies, “Both.”

She chuckles and it turns into a gasp when his teeth drag across the mark he’s just made. “I’m not like you, sweet,” she reminds him, trying to stay calm and nonchalant. “You can drag your tongue along every inch of my naked body for hours and not care how hard you are. But you do that to me and_ I_ need to get fucked.”

He laughs unexpectedly into her skin at her sudden honesty. He looks up at her and sees she’s gone a bit pink. “We’ll compromise,” he offers. “You let me do this to you for a while. And then I’ll put that oft-praised tongue of mine to work inside you.” 

Her limbs turn to jelly at the words and she nearly falls back onto the bed. “_Fuck_ you, you bastard,” she exhales.

He chuckles into her other thigh, fashioning an identical mark to make it symmetrical. “Deal?”

“Ugh, _deal_.”

He stands up, and he _is_ half-hard already though as predicted he appears to take no notice of it. He takes her hands and pulls her to her feet, then gently spins her around. He grabs hold of her zipper and slowly pulls it all the way down. He pushes the dress off her shoulders, then tugs it down the rest of the way until she can step out of it. He pulls her back against him and lets his hands roam over her body aimlessly as he kisses her shoulder. Then he lays her back on the bed, sliding her back all the way. He crawls onto it as well, at her feet, and bends her knees so that both feet are flat on the mattress, then moves them apart.

“This is quite sexy,” she comments. “You arranging me like a rag doll.”

He glances up at her in very mild annoyance. “You’re goin’ to talk through this, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she replies matter-of-factly.

“You’re incredibly irritatin’, you know that?” He rests his chin on her knee.

“Yes, I do.”

He sighs, then moves between her legs and kisses his way around her middle, from the underwire of her bra, around the swell of her baby bump, and down to the waistband of her knickers. 

“Bet you and Charlie went to discos together,” she surmises. “Chattin’ up all the pretty young lasses and convincing them to come back to your flat. I assume you shared a flat in uni, yeah?”

He kisses his way back up to her chest, through the valley between her breasts, and then looks up, through the hair that’s fallen into his face. “Yeah.”

He arranges her arms, unfolding them straight at either side, extending out from her shoulders.

“Maybe you each picked a girl at the pub and then you’d decide to swap halfway through,” Ellie says.

Alec kisses his way slowly from her shoulder down her upper arm, stopping at the inside of her elbow to bite and suck at the vein there.

“Truly a bloody vampire, you know,” she remarks with a scoff. Then grins at her own wordplay. “Bloody vampire. Get it?”

He raises his head and glares at her. “Fuck’s sake, Ellie.”

“Sorry.”

He shakes his head then continues kissing his way from her elbow down to her wrist, leaning into his vampiric tendencies and sucking at the pulse point in her veins there.

“You’re going to open me up one of these days.” Oddly, the thought is a bit arousing to her and she frowns at herself when she realizes it. “Blood everywhere. Then you’ll probably just lap it up.”

He is truly scowling when he looks up this time. “Sound like you _want _me to.”

She feels a shiver up her spine and he can _see _it appear on her face. “Dunno, maybe.”

“We’ll revisit this subject at a later date,” he tells her sternly. Then he returns to her wrist, her hand, tracing the lines on her palm with his tongue.

“Just for the record, you are far more handsome than Charlie is,” Ellie announces. “I mean he’s certainly got a tall dark striking thing going for him, but you’re – “

He shoves his hand down her knickers suddenly to stop her talking and she gasps, nearly bolting upright. “_Christ _almighty.”

Alec moves over until his body is half-covering hers and kisses her lips. “Shut your gorgeous mouth, you _absolute_ pain in the arse.”

She flutters her eyes at him, now weakened and subservient. “Okay.”

He keeps kissing her gently as his fingers explore her, enjoying the way she has softened and turned to putty in his hands. She starts to whimper and squirm, raising her hips and parting her legs even further. He grins, lifting his head to observe her wide-eyed helplessness, and he feels quite satisfied by the power he suddenly has over her.

“Not a word,” he whispers, kissing her one last time before moving down the length of her body. He peels off her knickers, then kneels on the floor at the end of the bed, reaching for her calves and pulling her right to the edge.

The anticipation is nearly too much for Ellie to take. “I…”

He glances up and brings his index finger to his lips. Then he leans in and goes straight for the crease of her thigh, his tongue darting around until she starts to cry.

…Cry? He looks up. She wants him so badly that her desperate eyes are filled with tears. She bites her lip to keep from begging him. Fortunately, she doesn’t have to. One look at that face and his mouth is on her, his tongue just sliding around, relishing the taste of her unbridled _need_. He grips onto her thighs, holding them apart, as his tongue flicks at her clit, first lightly, then more insistent. Her moans are louder and longer than usual, now that he’s taken the power of speech from her. Much as he loves hearing her whimper out his name, this is somehow even sexier.

He lightly strokes her inner thighs as he sucks her clit. He has no idea how long he’s been down here, but she’s writhing like mad, eliciting noises that are making _his_ toes curl. He pulls back just for a second, just to hear the noise she’ll make at the loss of sensation and it does not disappoint. When he gives it back to her, she gasps and pulls a pillow over her face. He knows she doesn’t want people to hear her again. Once is enough for a single day, surely.

He reaches up for her hand, the one that’s not holding the pillow to her face, and interlocks their fingers together, giving her something to squeeze. He slips one finger inside her and then another in fairly quick succession, sliding his tongue over and around her clit relentlessly until she’s crying out into the pillow, bucking her hips, and nearly fractures his hand from squeezing it so hard.

Alec raises his head after she finishes and watches her, keeping his fingers inside her to fuck her through the aftershocks. Then he pulls them out and crawls back onto the bed before gently pulling the pillow away from her face.

Her eyes nearly roll back into her head and she’s panting so that she can barely look at him. He kisses her cheek. 

“_God_, how do you _do_ that,” she says in an exhale.

“I have a very motivatin’ muse,” he replies. “Apparently.”

She turns her head and smiles at him. He reaches for her hip and rolls her onto her side to face him. Then he reaches behind her to unclasp her bra, her last remaining piece of clothing. Meanwhile, he is still fully clothed, save for his jacket and for the shoes he apparently kicked off at some point. He delicately pulls down the bra straps and extricates her from them.

She kisses him. “Thank you.” 

He kisses her back. “I could kill for a good night’s sleep right now.” 

He crawls off the bed and begins undressing. She gets up as well and looks for her light cotton robe. “I’m going to get us some water. Meet you under the covers in five.”

*

The ground level of the house is nearly silent now and dimly lit. Though she doesn’t notice her on the way there, returning from the kitchen with two glasses of water she finds Emma sitting in the living room alone, nursing a glass of wine.

Ellie stops, first fighting instinct, and slowly walks over to the couch. “Emma?”

Emma looks up, then takes a sip of her wine. Ellie puts the glasses of water down on the coffee table and sits in the chair adjacent to her.

“…You all right then?”

Emma sighs heavily and for a moment seems like she may not respond at all. “Sorry. For. All that I…sorry.”

“I understand,” Ellie replies, hesitantly. Emma looks up in surprise. “Truly. I mean, you said some nasty things, no question, but…I’ve been known to struggle with a filter myself. So I get it.”

“I hadn’t thought about it in years, truthfully. Not in ages. Then I saw you and it all came floodin’ back,” Emma explains. “And to see him so happy. With you, about your…I started to resent you. Even though it was my choice. To do what I…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Ellie says softly.

“When I saw you I started to wonder what if I hadn’t.”

“Well.” Ellie tries to get Emma to look at her. “You know what would have happened.” 

Emma nods. “We’d have gotten married." 

“Yes.”

“And been unhappy.”

“Yes.” 

“I don’t regret it,” Emma says, tracing the rim of her wine glass with her finger. “I don’t think. Hard to say after thirty years. A part of you becomes numb to it, or I thought was numb to it. It was the right choice. But at the time I could never be sure and so it nagged at me.”

Ellie relaxes into the couch, curling her feet up underneath her, tugging on her robe to keep it closed. “It’s too big a decision to ever know if you’ve made the right one. Having a baby is…no matter where you are in life, it’s difficult to know if it’s the right thing,” she says. “We actually didn’t…_I _didn’t…when I got pregnant, I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted.”

Emma sits up straight. “Really?”

“Oh, yes. Alec had this…extraodinary certainty about it, he knew right off, I don’t know how, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to change my life this way,” Ellie admits. “So many changes the last few years…and Alec and I were so new. Well, this phase of our relationship was so new, it all just seemed so absurd. It was terrifying.”

“But you never contemplated….did you?” Emma is leaning forward. 

“I did. We did. Not in so many words, it never made it that far, fortunately, but…there were a few days where I was quite set against it and Alec knew I was,” Ellie replies.

“What changed your mind?”

Ellie purses her lips. “I don’t know, really. I suppose the more I thought about it, the more familiar I became with the idea of it, it didn’t seem so scary anymore. And I have so much trust in _him_, in Alec, that his certainty was…powerful to me,” she says. “I’m grateful that he allowed me the time I needed to wrap my head around the idea before trying to…influence my decision, he gave me space and support. But I don’t know what it would have done to us had I made…the other decision. I have no idea. And it’s hard now looking back because now of course I can’t imagine it. This child is already so much a part of our lives, but I know, I distinctly remember how _impossible_ it felt at the time, how absolutely _insane_ the idea of it felt. I could not imagine my life with another child, nine months of pregnancy, a baby. Couldn’t see it. Until suddenly I could.”

Emma nods slowly and is quiet for a moment. “I wish I’d told him. If only for his support.”

“Well, he was seventeen, who’s to say he would have been the empathetic partner he is now,” Ellie points out. “He might’ve been a right arsehole about it. Seventeen-year-olds are not made to handle decisions like that.”

“Still.”

Ellie nods and reaches for Emma’s hand. “You made the decision that was right for you, and your life is the way it was supposed to be. And I can only imagine how difficult that must have been. Just to contemplate, let alone execute.”

Emma blinks a few times, but otherwise holds Ellie’s gaze. “…Thank you.”

After a moment, Ellie pulls her hand a way and takes a sip of her water. “Can I ask you something?”

“…All right.”

She leans forward with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “What was he like? In school?”

“Oh.” Emma smiles. It may be the first time she’s seen Emma truly smile all weekend. “You can probably guess, can’t you? The dark _broody_ type, he was. Always had a book of poetry on him. He’d sit out in the schoolyard under a bloody tree with a volume of Byron. He’d read a line quietly out loud to himself, then stare up at the sky in contemplation.” She laughs. “Totally insufferable but also unbelievably sexy.”

Ellie is positively gleeful. “Ah!” She gasps, covering her mouth.

“I’d never in my life have guessed he’d become a soddin’ _police detective_,” Emma notes. “Always thought he’d become a terrible poet or somethin’. But for his oddly intense vigilante tendencies and a distinct inability to let things _go_, nothin’ about him screamed _copper _at the time.”

Ellie’s eyes go wide. “He _wrote_ poetry?”

“Oh yeah.” Emma laughs at the memory. “Really awful, beautiful poetry. Probably could find some of it if I looked hard enough.”

Ellie lurches forward. “Oh, Emma, I will give you one thousand pounds if you send me even _one _poem, oh I love him so much.”

She smiles back. “I’ll look.”

“Well.” Ellie touches her hand once last time and then stands, picking up the glasses of water. “Should get back to him. Sleep well.”

“Yeah, you too,” Emma replies. “Goodnight.”

*

Back in the bedroom, Alec sits up in bed with his reading glasses on, staring at his mobile.

“Fifty-seven bloody work emails,” he complains, scowling at the screen. “On the _weekend_.”

“Crime takes no holidays, Detective Inspector.” She hands him a glass of water, then puts hers down on the nightstand. He tosses the mobile down and holds open the covers.

“Take that off and get in.” He takes off his glasses and sets them aside.

“What?” She exclaims, going to her suitcase to find her pyjamas. “It’s bloody freezing!”

“Get in, I’m hot-blooded,” he insists, switching off the lamp. “Come on.”

She groans and drops the robe, very quickly crawling into bed to escape the cold. She curls up to his warm body and he tucks the covers in around them, then holds tightly to her.

“Mm, love you,” he murmurs, settling in.

She plants a kiss on his chest. “Love you too, Lord Byron.”

“…What?”

“Nothing.”

**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with this story! It means the world!

The next morning, Alec wakes alone in bed to the sound of the hair dryer. He rubs his eyes and sits up just as the noise dissipates and Ellie enters from the loo in a black dress slip, rubbing moisturizer into her face.

“Good morning, my sleepy detective.” She comes to sit on the edge of the bed beside him. “You were out cold when I woke.”

He yawns. She smiles. “Sleep well?”

“Apparently,” he replies gruffly, rubbing his face.

“There was nary a rustle from you as I got out of bed,” she says, then leans forward and gives him a kiss. “You needed that.”

She splays her hand atop his bare chest then gives it a scratch. He reaches for her other hand and plays with her fingers.

“You ready for today?” Ellie asks quietly.

“Much rather go back to sleep,” he answers, watching their hands.

“Tea’s there.” She nods toward the nightstand. “Probably cold now. But I know you’re not picky.”

With his free hand, he picks up the mug and takes a sip.

“You’re almost shot of it,” she tells him with a reassuring smile. “Eight hours from now we’re back on the road home.”

The thought of their home, their bed, their boys is enough to get him sitting all the way up against the headboard.

“There’s a good lad,” Ellie says with a bit of an accent.

He takes a bite of toast and shakes his head. “You’re terrible at that you know.”

“Do it just to irritate you.” She kisses the side of his mouth and gets up. She goes into the loo and comes back out with several clothes hangers, carrying her dress and his suit. “Steamed your suit while I had a shower.” She lays it on the bed. “So that’s that done.”

He’s more interested in her dress. “That’s your one black dress?”

“Yes.” She frowns, taking it off the hanger. “Why?”

“Nothin’.” He takes another bite of toast. “I like that one. Has the little…exposed zipper thing in the back?” She turns it around. It does. “Right, that’s the one I like.”

She unzips it and steps into it, pulling it on. “You like them all.”

He takes a sip of tea. “Most I can’t remember. But then I like them all with you _in _them.”

With a slight eyeroll she walks over to the bed and turns her back to him. He sits up, leans forward, and pulls the zipper all the way up for her. “Ta.” She walks back to the mirror. “Billy and Archie were in the kitchen this morning, wanted to confirm you’re still okay to…uh.” She glances back at him. “Is _pallbear_ a verb?” 

He nods. “I can do it.”

She’s digging through her suitcase. “You need to stand on the left side though. And your use right arm.”

“Ach.”

She turns around to face the derisive Scottish grunt of dissent. “I’m serious. If you don’t promise me, I’ll tell the others myself. Right arm only.”

“Fine.”

Ellie pulls a pair of black strappy heels out of her suitcase, then goes to sit by him on the edge of the bed again as she puts them on.

“My father secretly hated goin’ to church,” Alec says, staring at his toast. “It was Mum always made us go. But Greer says toward the end there he insisted on goin’ every Sunday. What d’you make of that?”

“Dunno, could be anything.” She rubs a hand over his abdomen. “Could be a new leaf. Could be the sudden desire for absolution. Could be a very fit woman in the congregation he was after.” She smiles. “Or maybe he was trying to connect to your mum.”

He nods slowly. “Greer says every time he’d hit one of us he’d run off to confession.”

She begins tracing shapes on his body with her index finger. “How do you know it wasn’t the pub?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Just what she said.”

She traces a star just below his belly button and he shivers. “I’m sure he loved you, Alec,” she says quietly but with assurance. “In fact I know he did because I know _you_.”

She runs her fingers back and forth across his waist, where the waistband of his briefs would be were he wearing any. He smiles because he can see what she’s doing. She’s trying to be _him_. To soothe him with touches, to stay connected skin to skin, to make the effort _for _him. And now he’s starting to understand now why she sometimes complains when he does this to _her _– it may be comforting to the one doing the touching but it is frustratingly arousing to the person being touched.

Ellie draws a circle around his belly button and he stops her hand. She looks startled. He gives her a nod and she turns her head to see that he’s hard underneath the sheet. Then he can see that she feels somewhat vindicated. _Finally _he sees her point. She opens her mouth to speak but he beats her to it.

“Take your dress off.

“What!” She protests indignantly.

“Keep the slip on, take the dress off,” he requests. “Just quickly, come on. Release the tension.” 

“I just put my bloody shoes on!” She groans in irritation, then turns her back to him reluctantly. He unzips the zipper. She stands and slips out of the dress, then yanks off her shoes. He throws back the duvet revealing his hard cock and she hikes up her slip and pulls off her knickers.

“You’re a massive pain in the arse, you know that, right?” She says, getting into bed under the duvet next to him.

He crawls on top of her and kisses her lips. “Mm, I know.” He pushes down the top of her dress slip and takes her breast into his mouth with a contented moan. Then he parts her knees and pushes himself inside her.

She gasps harshly, and he realizes she wasn’t quite ready for him and he hadn’t given a single moment to _making_ her ready. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Just a bloody hole to you, am I?” She complains.

He bites her nipple then looks up at her plaintively. “Be nice, El.” He thrusts into her, hard. “Or I’ll see to it that you’re _limpin’_ during the funeral procession.” 

This turns her on finally. He knew it would. Her hands go to his back, her nails digging into his skin. He buries his face in her neck, licking her as he begins to thrust more rhythmically inside her.

“Be quick about it,” she insists.

He keeps up his strength and his pace, biting into her neck. She grabs his arse with both hands, encouraging him along. “Ellie,” he pants into her shoulder.

“Yes, love.” She squeezes his arse, hard, using her nails.

“_Ellie_.”

“Mm-hmm.” She raises her hips and bucks into him. She may simply be helping him along, but she’s certainly enjoying him uttering her name with such praise and reverence imbedded in the sound.

“My Ellie,” he whispers, gripping her thighs as he pushes into her faster now.

She makes a pleased little noise. “Your Ellie.”

He grunts his own pleasure at hearing her say it. She moves one hand to his hair, the other squeezes his hip. She pulls his hair, yanking his head up so that he’s looking at her. He’s red-faced and desperate. She nips at his bottom lip. “Come on, baby.”

_Baby_. She’s never called him _baby_ before, even now that he’s started calling her _babe_, and in the moment in feels totally right to both of them.

“El – El – “ He chokes out, looking into her eyes at he begins to unravel.

“_Your _Ellie,” she says again, knowing how possession turns him on.

“Fuck. _Fuck_.” And he’s gone, collapsing onto her chest. “Ellie. Oh, fuck, Ellie.”

She smiles happily, now feeling very content at the feel of his warm body covering hers. She tilts her head up to plant a kiss in his hair. “Remember when you thought calling me _Ellie_ would create a false intimacy?” She laughs.

He snorts. “What an arsehole.”

“Who knew that three short – okay, long – years later you’d be gasping out my name every night in pure ecstasy?” She says dramatically.

“And morning,” he adds.

“_Oh Ellie, my Ellie_,” she mimicks him, but absolutely with love and adoration.

He pulls out of her and pushes himself up with his arms, hovering over her. “_Eleanor Jane_,” he says with an arched eyebrow, knowing that will shut her up. He kisses her pursed lips. 

“Go shower,” she says, lightly slapping his cheek. “We’re due at the church in an hour.”

He kisses her once more, then crawls off of her and gets up. “Thank you for indulging me,” he calls to her as he runs stark naked to the loo. “As holes go, you’re as good as they come.” 

She throws a pillow at him just as he just dodges it as he slips through the doorway.

*

Ellie walks with Daisy in the funeral procession, following the pallbearers who carry the coffin into the cathedral. Daisy is trying very hard to be sad, though she has little to be sad about. She did not know her grandfather, and she suspects that even if she had, she would not have liked him much. She’s a bit concerned for her own father, though, who looks predictably pained as he helps carry the coffin inside.

Daisy glances over at Ellie, whose gaze is locked upon Alec. She seems to be taking on all of _his _pain and it shows on her face. Daisy takes her hand as they walk through the doors and down the aisle.

“He’ll be all right,” Daisy whispers to her.

Ellie nods, but it’s clear she needed to hear it said. “I know.”

The two of them take a seat in the fourth row, keenly observing their surroundings. Ellie’s eyes are on Alec after he deposits the casket and turns back down the aisle, to make sure he can find them as his own eyes search the crowd. He finds them and she gives him a reassuring nod, blinking back the moisture that’s building.

Alec sits down beside her on the aisle seat of the pew and she immediately takes his hand into both of hers and holds them tightly. Then she kisses his cheek fervently, her forehead lingering there against his temple. He takes a deep breath and relaxes a bit with her. 

To Ellie’s surprise, it is Angus who gives the eulogy. It is fairly straightforward but oddly moving in its terse sincerity. There is no embellishing, no overcompensating. It doesn’t focus on the bad, but also does not glaze over it. Alec does not cry, but he does squeeze her hand tightly throughout the entire service.

Alec insists that his little family drive themselves to the cemetery, and he insists on doing the driving through Ellie protests. They drive in silence behind the line of limousines.

They walk together to the plot, Daisy holding one of Alec’s hands and Ellie holding the other. They stop at Alec’s mother’s gravestone right nearby, and at Bridget’s, before continuing on to the burial.

No one cries. But they all appear to Ellie like they need to. Or should.

She hears Alec sniffle as the coffin is lowered into the ground, but when she looks up, he’s still not crying. It’s just cold.

One by one, the mourners begin to depart. Eventually, it’s just Alec, with Ellie at his side, his hand in hers.

“…Is there anything to you want to say to him?” She asks, hesitantly.

There’s a pause, then he shakes his head.

“Are you certain, love?”

He’s staring down the hole in the ground. “Think I’ve said it all havin’ you here, and Daisy. He can see what I’ve done. What I’ve accomplished.”

“Quite right,” she agrees. “You don’t owe him anything.” She wraps her arms around his waist. “Proud of you.”

He holds her for a moment, his face in her hair. “Like to go home now.”

She nods. “Back to the house?”

“Back to Broadchurch.”

*

After gathering all of their bags and loading them into the car, Alec sits on the front porch with Greer.

“Sure you don’t want to stay the night, go in the morning?” Greer confirms, with mild concern.

He shakes his head. “We’re anxious to pick up the boys.”

“They’ll be fast asleep by the time you come for them!”

Alec shrugs. “Even so.”

Greer smiles, nodding to herself. “Good then.”

“You’ll come visit?” He glances over at her furtively. “Ellie will have a baby shower of some sort, I’m sure. She likes a party. And then once the baby…”

“Of course,” Greer says unequivocally. “Anytime you want me there, I’m there.

“Good. Good,” he says. “Ellie will like that.”

“Look forward to seein’ you holdin’ a baby again.” She smiles. “You were always better with ‘em than you thought.”

Alec looks down. “Hope that’s the case.”

Greer tries to catch his eye. “You nervous?” 

He tries to wave it off. “Bit.”

“Well. Ellie seems to be the one person in the world who can put you at ease,” she replies. “So I have a good feeling about it.”

He wrings his hands together in his lap. “Glad you two get on. Thought you might.”

Ellie walks out onto the porch in a whirlwind. “Are we ready? I’ve just had a wee so if we leave _right now _we might get a whole three-quarters of an hour in before we have to stop somewhere.”

Daisy follows her out.

“Have you both said your goodbyes?” He asks them.

“More than once, I think,” Daisy replies.

“_Almost_.” Greer gets up and hugs Daisy. “You’re lovely. Please stay that way.”

Daisy beams in reply and Greer turns to Ellie, hugging her now.

“I’m so grateful to have met you,” Ellie says into her shoulder.

“Thank you for takin’ care of my brother.” Greer gives her a squeeze before pulling back. “You’re doin’ the lord’s work, darlin’, we’ll see you at the pearly gates for that.”

Greer turns to Alec and pulls him into a tight hug. “Be good. And don’t be a stranger this time.

*

Ellie insists on driving the whole way home and does not accept any protestations from Alec. After a few hours, both he and Daisy fall asleep. She is very happy to do the drive in blessed quiet following a long, long weekend of constant noise.

They pull into Lucy’s drive around 11pm. The boys are coaxed out of sleep and into the car.

When they reach home, Ellie pulls Fred out of the backseat and into her arms, where he is entirely limp. Daisy and Tom trudge inside sleepily and head straight into their respective bedrooms without a word. Alec handles the bags.

“Mumma, sleep with you,” Fred murmurs as she carries him upstairs.

“Yes, my little love.” She kisses his cheek, and carries him all the way up to their attic bedroom.

Normally, they would let Fred fall asleep in their bed and then one of them would carry him to his own bed shortly thereafter. But tonight nothing would please Ellie more than to have him in bed with them. She lays him down in the middle of the bed, then goes to help Alec bring the rest of the bags up.

Back in their bedroom, she whispers, “He’ll be in with us tonight.”

Alec nods. He had expected nothing less.

They both change into their pyjamas and brush their teeth half-heartedly, bodies aching and heavy with exhaustion. They crawl into bed on either side of Fred. Fred immediately curls up to Ellie, resting his head in the crook of her arm and shoulder, his face pressed into the side of her breast. She puts an arm around him and holds him close as he tangles his little feet with her leg.

Ellie looks over at Alec and smiles sleepily, thoroughly content. He leans over to give her a kiss, then switches off his bedside lamp.

He turns onto his side and tries to look at her in the darkness. His hand goes to rub Fred’s back just because it can.

“El.”

“Mmm.”

“I think I’d like to get married in Scotland.”

She turns her head, blinking until she can make out his face. “Yeah?”

“That all right?”

She smiles and nods her head against her pillow. “Mm-hmm.”

He leans forward to kiss her again, then pulls the covers up around him and settles in, eyes closed. “I love you.”

She yawns, dropping her arm down until it lands on his chest. “I love _you_.”

Surreptitiously, she slides her hand up a bit until it lands on his scar. She feels the beating of his heart, waits until she’s sure it’s regular, then pulls her hand back and closes her eyes.

*


End file.
